The First Step

For crying out loud, it’s step, hip, step, pivot….

are you trying to piss off the volcano?


There’s a volcano erupting in Iceland. There’s three more in Indonesia. Overall, planet Earth currently has about twenty volcanoes belching forth.

And an oil leak. And oil spills. And chemtrails in our air. Fluoride in our water. Wars and rumors of wars. Bankruptcies and rumors of bankruptcies. Genetically modified food, genetically modified bio-weapons, microchips, micronukes, bird flu, swine flu, goo goo ga flu. And why isn’t the Pope behind bars instead of little boys?


Ever notice how every potential apocalyptic scenario seems to all be happening at once? Wait….  don’t pay attention to the global financial meltdown, the global glacial meltdown is much more serious! And Planet X is looming! Looming on the horizon of doom! Doom, I say!





A song surfs my synaptic nerves:


Blood transfusions, revolutions,

satellites on Mars,

Man became the spawn of Satan

driving ’round in cars.

I read the news, but the news didn’t fascinate,

I stayed at home and watched the media ejaculate

This is the age of decay and hypocracy,

sometimes I feel like the world isn’t ready for me.


Every time I turn, a microscopic worm

is telling me he’s it

Dressed in robes of cosmic ego,

crawling ’round in shit

This is the age of decay and hypocracy,

sometimes I feel like the world isn’t ready for me.



Kula Shaker




You’re listening to the age of volcanoes. Next caller, please:


Oh my God, the weather’s going crazy! It’s global warming!

Has Al Gore even mentioned chemtrails?


Oh my God, the oil leak has killed the gulf! And the methane could blow like a super volcano!

Where’s the oil? Seriously, where’s the 200 million gallons of oil? Thanks for mentioning volcanoes, though.


Oh my God, Planet X! Planet X is creating all the tectonic activity and will cause a pole shift!

Five letters: HAARP. And again, where’s the planet? Where’s the planet four fucking times the size of the Earth?


Oh my God, dollar collapse! Gold! Dump everything into gold!

Really? Invest in something heavily promoted by the same media who told you recently that real estate was the place to be?  Now stay tuned for my sponser, “Goldstein & Goldstein Gold Investments, LLC”.


Every possible (act of Gaia, act of God, prediction, prophecy, oh my god the Illuminati are running the show and we’re screwed there’s nothing we can do about it I mean Dick Cheney shot a guy in the face and the dude apologized to Dick for getting shot what the fuck is up with that?) end times situation appears to be artificially created and purposely orchestrated. In other words, it’s a con. A con within a con, but a very real one all designed to inject you with so much anxiety and fear you won’t realize / experience / fulfill what is really happening in this reality. All implemented to make you, a spiritual entity of infinite energy and consciousness,  beLIEve you are a dense, material “thing” subject to the whims of nature and the gods.  In other words, a tiki. I was once like you.


I guess that would be the purpose of this blog: To und overstand this reality I am experiencing so that I may live peacefully within and without it. It just occurred to me that doom is a anagram of mood, and scared is an anagram of sacred. Perhaps the custodians of my reality wish me to view the impending sacred doom (apocalypse) with a scared mood? To that I say:



I will now predict my future. It will somehow involve this scene:

So sayeth the living tiki.






~ by the living tiki on August 7, 2010.

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