Sex Trap: The Wraiths Of Con

What? I write three super freakin’ long posts and all I needed to do was just show this one image?

Ongowa!



[OK, maybe I coulda got this post out a bit sooner, but I’ve been a little busy….]


There are two big events which occur in Kali-forn-ya near the end of every July:

(Yeah, this is normal.)

1) Northern California: The puppets of the evil bastards shaping our reality get their groove on with Molloch at Bohemian Grove and are too busy being homosexual with each other to do anything really evil, so expect things to start getting annoyingly evil again since they’re done now. 

[Plus Mercury has begun a retrograde until August 18 – Ugh. Um, I mean I love you, Mercury. It’s a good thing you’re going retrograde. It sure is.]


2) Southern California: One word: CON!!!!!!!!

As in,

The San Diego Comic Con International


It is a huge event. This year attracted 125,000 people.

It takes place over 4 days (and nights).

There are crowds outside:

There are bigger crowds inside:



It has become a media event, and a part of the projected yearly economy of the city of San Diego, generating millions and millions of dollars.

Who cares about Stan Lee when you’ve got Angelina Jolie?

….so dude, then she totally leans over to sign the photo, you know? Nipple. No shit, dude – nipple. I saw Angelina Jolie’s nipple. This is the greatest. Con. Ever!

[Air guitar solo]


Female attendees aren’t so fortunate.


Unless you’re a Twilight fan, but then you’re going to be waiting….

and waiting….


age of volcanoes not so fun fact: Last year’s Con was the first time I had heard of violence happening: Two Harry Potter fans got into a dispute about seating, and then one took out a ball point pen and stabbed the other near his eye. 

We got ’em. The Con is secure. I repeat, the Con is secure.


Thirty years ago the city of San Diego couldn’t care less about a bunch of geeks getting together [Hmm… when did the term “nerds” happen?].


Now they’re changing trolley signs into Klingon:

And putting movie posters on the sides of buildings:




Over a span of 40 years, the Con went from banquet rooms of various hotels….

….to this monstrosity:

If the San Diego Convention Center looks familiar, it’s because you saw it in Demolition Man starring Sylvester Stallone in the future who remarked, “Waaa? The Schwarzenegger Presidential Library?” And everybody laughed ’cause in 1993 it was funny thinking of Arnold Schwarzenegger governing our lives. It sure was.




living tiki personal fun fact: Starting in 1987, the living tiki has been to the San Diego Comic Con a total of six times [and here’s the part where the living tiki is really glad he calls himself the living tiki] but has only paid for the first. I refuse to go otherwise. Forty bucks for one day was bad enough, but now I’m sure it’s over $100. I won’t reveal how I’m still able to attend because Comic Con kind of scares me now.

I didn’t go to the Con this year (Despite another free opportunity to go – with my current situation I couldn’t even spare gas money getting there), but I was there on Sunday of last year. And it was the first time I used my very first digital camera, so you all are in for a treat: Intermingled among the images I glean from the web are my own photos from Comic Con 2010!

Like this one:

Must keep smiling. Need modelling job. Must keep smiling even though I just realized all the nerd guys taking my photo will be viewing it later. Much later. Much longer.

Ew.


Must keep smiling.



When did this [open] exploitation and distraction of nerds human beings begin?

It’s very easy to “see”…

It’s when this logo:


Became this logo:

Yeah, that’s right…. thousands of artists at their disposal and this is the best design they came up with? Forget the damn eye, it just makes my brain hurt. And yes, that is the best image I could find of their old parrot logo. That bird used to be everywhere on everything. I guess when the evil ones took over, part of the contract was to eradicate all traces of what it once was.


However, personally I’m pretty sure the evil ones were behind it’s entire inception. You know something’s up when George Lucas was there in 1976 hyping his movie before it was even done being made.

’76 Con kicked ass, dude! The Star Wars: The Poster was the most awesomist thing I’ve ever seen, man! This not a movie yet rocks!!!


Today the programming is much easier to see because they’ve made it flesh colored:

Yep, the poster’s center focus is Daniel Craig’s butt.


But the biggest change in the Con (aside from the unholy cost of attending) is the fact that, forty years ago, girls were kinda rare.

I will Donkey Kong your world, baby.


Now they’re everywhere.

Meet the Booth Babes…..

(The rest of us call them strippers.)




age of volcanoes fun fact: Pokémon is a Japanese take on the English words “pocket” and “monster”. Yep, that’s right… your eight year old son is playing with his and his friend’s pocket monsters.


The ability to see the programming which is right in front of our faces isn’t something that will “just happen.” And don’t rely upon Jesse Ventura to tell you. The only way to “see” is to think critically (probably for the first time in your life) and to open your mind to new ideas. Others already are. Two of them which revealed a lot of the programming I’m illustrating with this post are:

The Celtic Rebel

Lenon Honor

The Rebel will give you a metaphorical pair of glasses in which to “see”, and Lenon will show you a few things about Star Trek you may have missed.


This convention isn’t about comics, or art, or science fiction, or even creativity. Perhaps it never was. It’s about distraction, consumption, and programming. And it’s done through a highly charged sexual atmosphere, both ambiguous and specific.


That’s not a carrot, space bunny. I am just happy to see you.


Oh look, I see Alice isn’t too far behind….

OK, um… that is… I mean, um…     wow.

Goodnight Everybody!


But Booth Babes are simply an inevitable result of all the various sexual programming your children have received from the comics themselves:

Nope. Nothing bizarrely sexual about this. Not at all.

See? Wonder Woman was doing it too:



Oh man, for some reason I really wanna play with my joystick…


Ah… much better. Huh… why the sudden urge? Oh well, I guess I’ll go check out the new summer films…


If you’re thinking the release, design, and juxtaposition of these posters is simply coincidence, stop. There is no coincidence. Rather, this is one of those rare moments your brain is telling you you’re being worked, sucker.

Hollywood isn’t many industries all doing the same thing.  It is ONE industry. And what they’re doing is working you, sucker.



Need I remind you Disney now owns Marvel Comics?


Don’t get tangled up in their deceit – it’s a pretty big fucking web.

[POST UPDATE]: OK, every time I see that SEGA “ad” above (Genuine? It appears to be from England), the more I’m starting to feel that video games were solely created to be a fantasy masturbation substitute. The fact it’s called a “joystick” seems so obvious it must be intentional. The intent seems twofold: 1) Make it a “substitute” to drain the powerful sexual energy of the individual  (and subsequent drive to mate with a real human being), and 2) During the individual’s subconsciously aroused state, implant them with the programming.


[If your parents are too poor to get the new SEGA joystick, don’t despair young man! “Air guitar” solos are 100% free!]




Booth Babes began when the comic vendors realized having attractive women (more like their okay-looking but really busty girlfriends) hanging around their booths sold more comics. It has now exploded into a phenomenon worthy of a Playboy “Girls of the Con” edition.

But Maxim beat them to it:


You don’t even know what they’re selling or promoting, you just know there’s something evil involved…


Even when it’s innocent and candy coated…


They will “charm” you to CONsume everything from energy drinks….


….to movies….


….to Where’s Waldo…. what?

Maybe they’re selling AT&T?

Maybe nobody cares?

Ladies, ladies… Say, did you happen to know I can recite the entire movie of Star Wars by memory from beginning to end?

The entire movie. Beat that, George Clooney.


Oh wait no, no… don’t walk away… I can… awwwwww.

Dammit. Someday that will get me laid. Someday.


But wait… silly me! Playboy is involved.

In addition to treating your son to the latest Clone Wars preview, you can have him meet his first ever Playmate. Here’s Tiffany Taylor signing autographs at the Con:

Um…. daddy? Can we go home now? Something weird just happened to my testicles.


But even if you’re a vigilant parent, attending on “Family Day” Sunday and making sure to avoid Tiffany, a warning: Some Booth Babes wander around.


Not even Snoopy is sacred:

Not even Snoopy can resist:

Hey, watch that paw, Snoop-dogg!


The effect of Booth Babes on young men is obvious (but not so obvious too, as you soon shall see…). But what is it doing to young women? [You know, real ones… not strippers.]

The anime-niacs have a term for it:

Cosplay.

It means “costume play”. And its’ true origin is sexual (that’s the play part.) But Hit Girl above doesn’t know that. She just knows everyone is paying attention to her and calling her “cute”.

Then she’ll grow up and really get into the fantasy. So into it, she’ll forget she’s half-naked in public:


But after all the attention from boys, men, more boys, more men, and construction workers, she will be completely aware she is half-naked in public:


But why be just half-naked?

Why even wear underwear?


Yet some girls now take cosplay to the bizarre extreme, covering up the parts of their body they should be displaying the most:


Young ladies, do you hate your boring, small, non-anime irises?



Well, now you can creep the holy hell out of that guy you really like!


Come on… we know you’re desperate since he doesn’t seem interested in your body….





Now if you’re wondering how dressing like your favorite fictional character turns girls into strippers and boys gay, then allow me to illustrate it with my personal cosplay fantasy [Unfulfilled as of yet but always accepting applications]: Classic Star Trek

(Yes, it’s programming I know, I know, but, um… it’s programming.)


 I’m a sucker for girls in classic Star Trek uniforms:

And as for Japanese girls in Classic Star Trek uniforms….



The evolution of the Star Trek cosplayer at the Con:


Once upon a time, all a Starfleet female cadet needed to do to initiate first contact was everything that you see here:

You had me at “live long and prosper.”


But then the Booth Babes from planet Playtex launched a full frontal assault on the male cadets and the females needed to show they were just as fully functional

Better than Jolie’s. Oh… you meant my Starfleet test scores! Those too.


However, the Booth Babes were using some form of mind-control slut ray on the men’s optical sensors, so the cadets were forced to show that they could pretend to be from the mirror slut universe too, yet it just wasn’t the same…


So they started sending out distress signals:

Nailing frequencies open, Captain.


But the Booth Babes struck back, posing as imposters who may have never even heard of Starfleet!

We love every episode of Star Search, um… Trek.


Being well funded and drawing upon the power of their huge nacelles, the Booth Babes quickly subdued the men. The female cadets’ warnings went unheeded:

There’s no strippers with tattoos in Starfleet! It’s an invasion!

Those aren’t even uniforms! What the hell is wrong with the men?


And so, seeing that all hope was lost, the cadets dropped out of Starfleet and went to the afterparty…. 

[POST UPDATE]: I originally had a funny caption for this photo lifted off the web, but the joke was on me. I was distracted by the extreme weirdness (and comedy potential) of these two and thought that was the reason for their unattractiveness. Nope – they’re dudes. Just required two more seconds of paying attention. Dammit, I hate it when that happens. I feel unclean. I may have to show “Alice” from above again. 

Yet… there’s your “funny caption” (maybe everybody learned a lesson too?).


But what happened to the male cadets (other than showing up at the afterparty out of uniform and then um, in uniform…) ?


The Booth Babes took control and pretended to be Starfleet.

Hey there, Ensign. You know what Orion girls like?


Men who wear perfume.

Perfume with names like “Shirtless Kirk”.


And “Sulu”.

Is all hope lost for Starfleet and the Federation?

It will be once you realize the takeover wasn’t an invasion. There wasn’t even a takeover (except for your mind). Starfleet was a lie from the very beginning. They’re just getting lazy and greedy with the programming. (And why not? Some of us, even when paying attention, aren’t paying attention.)


Now then,

Here’s what the comics industry started with:


Remember when I told you you’ll experience rare occasions when you’re brain is telling you you’re being worked (sucker)?

I’m sure everyone has made a joke about it:

Men In Tights.

How could I have been so blind?

How could millions of young men still be so blind?


MEN

IN

TIGHTS



Let’s take a leisurely walk through the Con, and see the images that subconsciously strike a young man’s synapses:

This costume is nothing without the sandwich.


Now your brain is really gonna tell you something…. (actually, all the “subliminal” Japanese stuff I’ve thrown at your subconscious will…)

Imagine for a moment.

Imagine at this year’s Con, at precisely noon on Friday, July 22nd….

everything stopped.

All the noise and haste…

All the light and sound and fury….

Silenced.

People stop. The lights dim. A hush comes over attendees. A voice on an intercom booms over the silence….

San Diego Comic Con International would like to honor the overwhelming contribution the people and country of Japan have made to the Con over the years by taking a minute of silence to remember the victims and survivors of the terrible events which struck their country on March 11th of this year. Donations can be made at designated booths near the exits. Domo arigato. Thank you.




Did that happen?

I don’t know, I wasn’t there.

I’m sure everyone enjoyed Captain America, though.

Why even wear underwear?

ONGOWA!






~ by the living tiki on August 10, 2011.

13 Responses to “Sex Trap: The Wraiths Of Con”

  1. Brilliant and entertaining as always Mr. Tiki!
    Always look forward to your latest injection to the noosphere…

    It’s funny there was actually a time when the new movie of the moment actually got me somewhat excited about it,
    and now I’m just surrounded by people that that’s all they talk about…

    Thank goodness for the Tiki’s and Rebels of life… : )

    Keep up the great work my friend!

    • Wow, thank you! Good feedback is always appreciated.

      It’s funny – my sister is one of those “movie people”. It comes up in conversation much like the weather: “Have you seen…?” And even though I rarely discuss the “programming”, even she is starting to tire of movies these days. She recently saw Cowboys and Aliens. Her review? Annoyingly predictable and formulaic. (Maybe they should have stolen another story from the Rebel!)

  2. Awesome work once again, tiki!!

    I couldn’t stop reading (and almost vomiting lol) until I reached the very last word…the final ONGOWA!

    The evidence of programming you present here is far too blatant and weird not to be true.

    You are such a great contributor to the blog world, and my own personal world. This has quickly become my favorite blog…partly cuz it’s free lol but mostly just because it is simply awesome – both in humor, and the depth of the ideas lurking there within the humor.

    Thanks for doing what you do so well. 🙂

    • You’re welcome, my friend! And thank you for the awesome praise! Glad to know my musings and rants are appreciated and anticipated (and maybe inspiring). I feel we all contribute in bringing the strengths out in each other.

      “Ideas lurking” indeed… This post was certainly a strange one to produce. I had to go back repeatedly not only to correct errors and typos I kept missing, but also to expand slightly on new insights [I’m officially finished with corrections].

      All throughout this post I kept feeling like the delivery of the programming is more all-encompassing, complex, and interconnected than we can imagine, but the programming itself is controlling us on a very simple base level (sex) which we are barely beginning to understand. Fortunately, the programming is becoming so ridiculous these days it’s easier to identify. Unfortunately, that’s just us. There’s still a lot of zombies fanboys (and girls) out there….

      BTW ladies reading this: Did I happen to mention I can recite the entire movie of Star Wars? Or maybe I can whisper it very sexfully. Your choice.

  3. hey tiki,

    I’m curious to get your impressions of this music.

    It’s not really Boingo-ish at all, but let me know what you think.

    http://lvb-research.blogspot.com/2011/08/meanwhile.html

    p.s. I don’t personally ever need to hear you whisper the entire Star Wars script in a sexy way, but good luck scoring with that tactic. You just never know what can happen with female humans, odd creatures that they are.

  4. Does the recital of Star Wars come in tights? Now I’m just scaring myself 🙂

    That was another fine, punchy read – even without the tights. It’s funny how blatant the ‘blatantly obvious’ gets when you are not afraid to face it. I REALLY hope your financial challenges can get sorted, am very glad that you do not let them stand in the way of truth justice & the american …. I mean common sense.

    Saw a sign for sale the other day at a market – it said ‘Tiki Hut’ – really wished I had a camera.

    Be well

    • Well, Darth Vader’s outfit is very form fitting. With a cape. Who the hell wears a cape in space?
      I could try Shakespeare instead, but I think that would take us back again to the tights situation. And it’s not good for anybody to see my Speareshake.

      Thanks for the financial hope (just as good as cash in my opinion). In my situation, I’m reminded of something you wrote about how you looked at an empty cupboard and was overwhelmed with a sense of failure. I can’t imagine what it’s like to feel that as a parent. “Hey tiki jr…. you know what I heard is fun? Camping! Lots and lots of camping. Especially under bridges.”

      I have a growing fantasy/dream: Owning a tiki bar in a tropical location (or simply where I’m at). Perhaps someday I might show you a photo of my own “tki hut” ( Tights not allowed. Coconut bras optional.)

      Live long and prosper

  5. Nice narrative, highlighted and greatly enhanced by the choice of imagery. That was a fun ride!

    • Thanks! I wanted to almost recreate (as much as a blog can) the carnival-like atmosphere of the con, and how it so overwhelms your senses in a myriad of ways.

      My own summer thrill ride… glad you enjoyed it!. Please wait until the car has stopped moving to exit the ride.

  6. We are lured into becoming as gullible as children again.
    and escaping into the fantasy is the new social control drug.

    thats why Game-industry has been boosted by the elite.

    it is more spellbounding then then ordinary tv.

    maybe the movie ”Gamer” is telling the future..

    the avatars become more real in our psyche then ourselves.

    the same thing happens with trauma mindcontrolled children. they minds split up. they go through the rabbithole and pose no threat .

    the new form of the roman bread & circus .

    • I never saw Gamer, but I’m struck how gaming has become so popular that we have the words “gaming” and “gamer”. It should more appropriately be called “role-playing”, because your not playing the game as yourself, but as a persona. And the more elaborate the game (or fantasy), the more you lose yourself.

      When I was going to college, I would sometimes hang out in a nearby video arcade between classes and play the games of the day (which were greatly varied and more cerebral, like Tetris). A short while ago, I revisited the campus for another reason and decided to check out the arcade again. It was filled with only fight games, like Street Fighter, and mainly filled with Vietnamese students with customized Hondas parked outside. In my day, the girls that were there were typically friends who were also playing the games. This time, the girls were all the (really hot) girlfriends of the guys, but they were all sitting together in a corner looking incredibly bored while they’re boyfriends played the games. “Something is terribly wrong,” I thought, “when girls this hot are looking this bored, but being ignored.”

      • You know,I always imagened back in the past,that girls were hardly into the whole gaming,anime and comicbook stuff.Not to mention,I always thought that a comicbook/anime geek having a girlfriend wasn’t common;however, in my day,comicbook/anime geeks all have girlfriends.Heck,all sorts of girls play videogames,and watch/read comicbooks/anime/manga.

      • Although I’m not much into the “genre” these days, I have noticed that over the years, girls have been marketed to with games/anime/comics just as much as the boys (maybe even more so – I guess the powers that be needed backup plans in case some girls didn’t buy into the Disney Princess programming. Or maybe they just saw dollar signs). What lasting effect this has on relationships, I’m not sure…

        I just miss the days where I could walk into an arcade or game shop and see all the guys playing games, while their girlfriends were all sitting at a table looking bored and unappreciated – an opportunity for someone like me to introduce myself and make them rethink their choice of boyfriends. 😉

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