the living tiki vs 2012 (ROUND 1): Killer Clowns From Outer Space

Consider this posting an odd follow up to my “Fair Trade” post. But also consider it the first shot of many across the bow of the apocalypse. We’re heading into the “final countdown” and I want to start a series addressing and eliminating the artificial reality that permeates my existence.

It’s been awhile since my last post and I feel terrible about it. I started out trying to rise above this manure pile of a reality, but instead seem to have become mired in it. I’m still struggling to stay afloat, still occasionally depressed by all the BS, and still have neither dame nor ukulele. And this has caused me to neglect my creativity in blog postings and art, and subsequently neglect my readers (and myself). I also get kinda cranky when I can’t research aliens or dinosaurs.


With this particular post, I’ll be examining what is happening to what we eat.

I had an epiphany when a co-worker was making a lunch run. I had skipped breakfast and was starving. “Where are you going?” I asked. “Taco Bell,” he replied. “Ugh…. (my stomach growled)… um, get me a couple of somethings that don’t have meat.” He returned with a bean, cheese, and rice burrito and a potato soft taco. Either they were actually tasty, or I was really, really hungry. Then I looked at the bag and thought…


What the hell am I doing?

Did you notice the reptilian eye? That’s what made me realize I had just been suckered by the evil shapers of my reality. And it wasn’t the fact that what I was eating – even though composed of the most basic ingredients – had probably been genetically modified and processed into something completely different from food…. it was the fact that the money I gave them will be used to create more suffering in this world, both animal and human, and more control over my own life.


How can Taco Bell control my life? Because it’s not Taco Bell, it’s a subdivision of a growing (I would say already established) global food network. A network with very few people at the top dictating who eats what.

Now, I could spend hours researching the connections between companies, or tracking global food imports and exports, or even doing a whole post on Monsanto, but as I’ve said before…. I like my reality simple. And I can always count on the evil bastards in control to tell me what’s going on in the most simplest way:

We have clowns serving us shit.

It’s funny how people have trouble waking up to that fact. Even yours truly.


So consider this post a way for me to state that this particular bullshit in my life ends here and now… and to remind myself why.

The holiday season invites gluttony. I’m here to tell you to stay hungry.

But first… a related personal anecdote:



Whenever life gets to me, for some reason I always go to the birds….

A few weeks ago, while driving my truck down a busy boulevard around noon, I spotted a pigeon sitting on the dashed line between lanes. It was in a nesting position, with everything tucked in. Since it was on my left side, I slowed as I passed and glanced to see if it was dead. Instead, it looked directly at me.

My gaze shifted to my rear-view mirror to check on the pigeon. It was still there, immobile, with only sporadic head bobs. I started debating in my mind about stopping to see if I could at least get it out of traffic. What’s to debate, you might say? Was I downgrading the worthiness of the common pigeon? No – the debate was the fact that I once personally witnessed a human being get killed by a car [on the freeway – yeah, that bad], and although I didn’t vomit like some of the other witnesses, the severity of what I saw has made me slightly squeamish about crossing through traffic ever since. 

I turned on an adjacent street and parked. Walking on the sidewalk, I looked for the bird in the boulevard but it wasn’t there anymore. A flutter of wings caught my eye and I saw that another pigeon was now flying around the first one, waiting for a break in traffic, and then landing and pecking at the first one to move. The first pigeon responded with a limped effort every few feet towards the curb. There were some very close vehicular calls.

As I approached, the two pigeons had made it to a driveway but were still in danger of a car rapidly pulling into the parking lot. I then noticed that another person had witnessed the plight of the birds and was already picking up the injured one. He was a Mexican man (the parking lot had a Mexican restaurant – a real one), and from the way he held the pigeon it was apparent he had handled birds before. I determined the pigeon had the best chance of survival in his hands and walked back towards my truck. 

Did I tell you this story to illustrate how caring I was? Not really. I think that damn pigeon gave me a guilt trip with it’s little puppy-dog eyes. But then again, I did once hit and kill a cat with my own car (please don’t hate me – he darted out!). It was awful. The cat first jumped around in reaction to the pain from internal injuries, but soon flopped down and cried out until it no longer had breath. Of all my experiences, I believe that sound is what makes me try to prevent any creature from suffering such a terrible, violent death. I would prefer not to hear it again.


Two humans and another pigeon. Those were the only friends that pigeon had on this planet in it’s time of need.

Most creatures aren’t so lucky:

Yesssss… made it in time before breakfast ended! I’m lovin’ it!®


In 2001, there was a woman driving late at night intoxicated with drugs and alcohol who hit a homeless man walking alongside the road.  He smashed into the front windshield and became stuck there. She didn’t stop to call 911, but instead continued driving until reaching her home whereupon she parked her car in her garage and went inside to bed… with the man still in the windshield, alive and whimpering for help. He later died from blood loss, still in the windshield.

The woman was a former nurse’s aide, by the way.




We are too busy consuming our holy day creatures to see the elephant on our dinner plate. And this diseased elephant is controlled by the clown mafia:

Killer Clowns From Outer Space you might call them, because they certainly don’t respect our home or it’s inhabitants [and – evoking the movie of the same name where the clowns ate humans – that includes YOU.] Be aware of this every time you decide to patronize one of these “establishments.”

Over the Thanksgiving holiday, the godfather of the Killer Clown Mafia made you aware of it’s modus operandi:

If you believe  McDonald’s was clueless as to the abusive and unsanitary practices of it’s egg supplier, you are the clueless one. Allow me to present exhibit A:

The McRib

What is it made out of? Well, aside from some ingredients which are basically the equivalent of what is used to stuff yoga mats, they are made from this cute little fellow:

But what’s so different about this particular meat food product?

“For a limited time only.”

Wait….what? Did the Earth suddenly experience a rapid growth in the pig population? No. McDonald’s experienced a rapid growth in greed. In other words, they bred a ton of pigs specifically to extensively peddle their flesh and pick up some major extra cash this holiday season.

But they care about chickens. Right.

This is a still frame from the abuse at the chicken ranch.  Now, I could try to save the lives of a few more creatures on this planet [both animal and human] by showing you a bunch of horrible photos of animal abuse, but I doubt that would be effective, or else the Killer Clown Mafia wouldn’t exist anymore. Besides, as the Celtic Rebel has pointed out numerous times in numerous ways, if people aren’t going to stop to help a pigeon, they’re certainly not going to stop eating McRibs.

And I let you know that’s also why the evil human powers that be (not aliens) have your carte blanche permission to mutilate as many cattle as they want. 

However, I will not dismiss abuse so easily….

Abuse is not neglect. It doesn’t come from laziness or greed. It comes solely from the evil desire to feed off the suffering of another creature. Only a deranged sadist can swing an animal around on a chain (I’m guessing there’s not going to be a soft landing).

And he’s doing it before finally killing the bird and giving it to you to consume.

Every time you hear the words “animal abuse”, just imagine yourself in the movie Hostel (or Abu Ghraib – same thing): 

You’re in a cold, dark, heartless place.

You’re broken and chained to prevent escape.

And you don’t have two humans and a pigeon as friends in your time of need. There is only you and a psychopath who wants you to suffer as much as possible.

Why did the chicken cross the road?



If this doesn’t make you stop eating McRibs, I can only think of one more extremely graphic and shocking photo to show you:

[Warning – Explicit image to follow]


  Betty White eating a hot dog:



However, I feel the best way to view what the Killer Clown Mafia are all about is to see them with the eyes you haven’t looked with for a long, long time – the eyes you had in Atlantis. And Mu.



I believe the key to understanding just how much our reality is screwed up [not just food] is to try to imagine (or factually reconstruct) what the civilizations that existed before ours were like. I’m no expert on Atlantis, but I can guarantee they didn’t have a chain of restaurants called “Burger King”.


And their children certainly didn’t look like this:



You don’t need to know exactly what Atlantis or Mu were like, you just have to imagine something not infected with evil. Something different.


What we all need to understand is that the evil shapers of our reality are attacking us not as Americans, or Christians, or even tikis….

but as a species:

And they’re having a good laugh too. Why else would they have clowns serve us shit?



Perhaps an even better way to view all this is from the age of volcanoes first official alien correspondent, X’kalak:

Actually, X’kalak is an alien robot, and I’m not sure where it’s from [It showed up after the last post… maybe I mentioned aliens and Brazil one too many times], but it provides great observations about the human condition (However, each one costs me either a blood or sperm sample, so X’kalak may be a temporary age of volcanoes correspondent.)


**bleep^^dekka dekka om teek^^bleep**

X’kalak dekka Sol 3 report: Prime species chemical energy absorption:

The majority population of Sol 3 prime species has relinquished both individual and collective control over their primary means of functioning: Ingestion and absorption of organic chemical energy [ref.367-data-read-food].

The collection, processing, and distribution of this food is a centralized mechanism, overseen and programmed by very few units [ref.588-data-read-individuals] of the species. These individuals have the ability to determine and program the type and quantity of the food provided to most of the entire species, as well as denying the species the food itself.

Based upon prior field excursions, no other planetary species has relinquished individual or collective control over it’s primary means of functioning unless they are slaves, pets, or energy sources [ref.197-data-read-livestock]. Cannot determine at current time which of the three describes Sol 3 prime species. End report.


Thanks, X’kalak! What’s that? Oh, right… the um…. the sample. Say… you wouldn’t happen to have a super hot naked alien babe wit-

-alright, here’s my arm…



X’kalak is correct. Do you know where your food comes from? How it is processed? Or, most importantly, do you grow or produce your own food?

You probably answered no to the above three questions and instead only obtain your organic chemical energy from one of these many places:


Or possibly other places which prepare the food for you:

But where did they get the food?

The actual food (obviously) comes from different places and producers, but all those different producers fall under all the regulations, laws, ownership, and control of the global food network. You don’t need to know how all these food suppliers/processors are interconnected, just look at how one of the above supermarkets is just one part of the mini-retail empire below:

Do you trust your food source to a business who also deals in electronics? I wouldn’t, because it typically leads to streamlining everything to be cheaper and faster, where the end result is pet food killing your dog, and your baby formula containing wall plaster.

And for everything not produced in China we have this cute little fellow:


You may remember from my Star Wars postings I have some friends who played the Star Wars “award ceremony” theme at their wedding. One Christmas, I gave them a Stormtrooper helmet cookie jar. It contained candy and was made in China. My friends jokingly thought I was attempting to poison them because they read the ingredients label to me – which sounded like the ingredients of a cough drop – and the strangest part was the last line:

“May contain shrimp.”

With the global food network, there may be a lot of things your food (and your body) may contain that would surprise you.


And be wary going green, natural, or organic – The evil bastards have anticipated this reaction, and have plenty of companies with plenty of logos to service your new concern:

See that yellow-green sunburst in the middle? That’s the logo of BP (British Petroleum).


Yeah, real fucking green.


Here’s how I personally realized that all businesses (food, electronics, and otherwise) appear to be interconnected with just a very few people at the top:

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menance

Ohmygod something new that says Star Wars!

I must have it. I must have it!

Like any Star Wars fan, I was eagerly awaiting the premiere of Star Wars: Episode I. Lucas could have filmed cows dropping patties in a field for two hours, and fans would have still waited in line for weeks to see it….

which is what he did, but he also gave a hint about the global food network by connecting his mind control and money-whoreness to a fast-food empire:


My memories of the original Star Wars film are just that – Star Wars. My memories of The Phantom Menace include the Killer Clown Mafia franchises above because they were so heavily marketed with the film. Lucas knew our children would get addicted to the crap served up by the global food network. Fuck you, George Lucas.


Without serious research, I would surmise that (unless you have access to a local farmer’s market) most all your food comes from the same ultimate distributor – this global food network which has only a few hidden hands directing the future and shape of what humanity eats.


Do you know Papa John’s Pizza’s slogan? “Better ingredients, better pizza.” Did you know that Papa John’s ingredients (cheese, peperoni, bell peppers, mushrooms, etc.) come from the same exact distributor of ingredients for Domino’s Pizza, their biggest “competitor”? You’re basically getting the same damn pizza, just put in a different colored box.

And how else can a CRAPPY American hamburger restaurant be found fucking everywhere?



Kuala Lumpur








Some country that lets cows roam freely in front


And Israel. Where you have the choice of your cow being stunned unconscious by captive-bolt to the brain and drained of blood, or being drained of blood humanely by a Rabbi. If you’re a meat-eater, I recommend the brain-bolt beef: First, the words ‘humane’ and ‘Rabbi’ have never really gone well together and second, the beef might contain traces of the animal’s final terror-adrenaline which may give you that added energy boost to get you through the day (Just ignore the nightmares when you go to bed.)


You think its different because it’s foriegnly packaged different….

But it’s still a McRib.

Or it may not even be a McRib at all…

It’s fried-somethingtastic!

…but I can still guarantee they are doing something unnatural with it:

If you’ve ever wondered what Chicken McNuggets look like before hitting your dinner plate, here ya go…

You didn’t think those were whole chicken nuggets did you? (I think there’s some ammonium added to that paste as well to kill bacteria.)


Even Taco Bell had to be sued to admit that most of it’s beef was “filler”:

Ingredients: Whatever was swept off the floor of the maquiladoras of Tijuana.


Thank you for suing us. At first we thought you cared about what you were eating, but then we realized you just simply wanted more dead cow. Well, your gluttonous wish is our command – We have all our favorites, but now with four times the freakin’ beef!


These restaurants are required to tell you how bad their food is for you….

Are you paying attention?



How about this… Did you know that all the “good looking” fish are being so extensively fished from the world’s oceans that McDonald’s had to resort to a lesser known (and less attractive) aquatic denizen for it’s daily fillet-o-fish production?

Say goodbye to the tasty looking North Atlantic White Fish….

…and hello to the South Pacific Hoki:


Mmmm… let’s get a closer look at your dinner:

Bon Appetit.



The first town I remember living in (ages 5-8) was so small (and so 1970’s) it didn’t even have a McDonald’s, which has almost become a standard for describing how small or “out-of-touch” a town is. 

We instead had a Hobo Joe’s:

First I had to go through the suggestive pedophilia of Hobo Joe’s,

then the suggestive racism of Sambo’s….


….to finally be peddled to by the Killer Clown Mafia.


I feel this is why it was fairly easy for me to stop eating their food (yet still have the occasional relapse). However, I feel today’s youth are not so easily able to curb their addiction. They’ve been raised on McDonald’s since they could eat solid food.


Actually, I stopped eating fast-food not when I became a vegetarian, but when their food became disgusting. At one time it was tasty, but then turned to crap – and lots of it….

Is the human body even capable of digesting an ultimate bacon cheeseburger?


The McRib doesn’t even look visually appealing:

These food products can’t be because the public is demanding them. They are instead force-fed to the (global) population for a variety of different reasons – the most important of which is the fact that the children you saw eating McDonald’s above will probably never even come close to spiritual enlightenment.

I’m suspecting another reason may possibly be that the evil people in control of our food made a bet to each other that they could not only get the masses to relinquish personal control over where their food comes from (or even preparing it themselves), but could also make food as crappy and unhealthy as possible and still get people to eat it.



Allow me to present exhibit B:

Miss Turkey’s ass:

Don’t get me wrong… Miss Turkey (Gizem Memic) has a spectacular ass.

And an even better front:


But when this Turkish delight is used to sell dead bird flesh, it’s getting kind of disgusting….


And it’s seriously confusing my penis.


You see, the Killer Clown Mafia is getting desperate because a lot of us are waking up to the fact that we have clowns serving us shit and so Carl’s Jr. decided to go for broke by selling their shit using sex. That’s how you know they’re desperate… sex has always been used to sell a lot of things (even food) but not so much with dead animal flesh.

In the past, the Killer Clown Mafia resorted to cute and colorful imagery:

  Don’t show the food in reality:

You’ve got to cartoonize it:

See… those chicks look tastier already. Think I’ll pick up some KFC tonight.


Or else they used sexual imagery, but subliminally:



But now Carl’s Jr. has set the bar to blatant sexual imagery:


And suggestion:


Does anybody think Paris Hilton eating dead flesh is sexy?

Can Paris even look sexy eating anything?

Survey says: No.


And this opened the flood sewer gates to blatant sexual disgusting advertising:


C’mon baby….

….open your snackhole.



OK Arby’s, this one yet again just confuses my penis:



It’s getting so bad that even antiKiller Clown Mafia activists have to resort to sex [ref.169-data-read-women-in-bikinis] to get their message across:


And this really confuses my penis.


Especially when PETA (probably run by the same evil bastards screwing us and our animals over) resorts to the dehumanization of women in bikinis:

Dammit PETA, this is making my penis cry… and not in that “Because he’s so happy” way.


Although the torture of animals is OK with Christians so long as the people preparing the tortured animal flesh aren’t gay.



However, ladies, the Killer Clown Mafia isn’t targeting your snackhole [ref. 33-data-read-anus]. Instead, the crosshairs are set on probably the most important area of your anatomy:


The prime target of the evil shapers of our reality is our children, and they are starting their evil work even before our children are born.

Cartoon Miss Turkey illustrating the location of the portal of great happiness… and the room of the future it leads to.



How is each subsequent generation of humanity turning out if the previous ones are consuming more and more artificial crap? 

I can’t tell you that, but I can tell you I met a guy in his early twenties who loved McDonald’s, and had never eaten a banana and had no desire to do so. A banana. Sure, there was a lot of other natural foods this man had amazingly never eaten, like pears and broccoli, but it was the banana that made my jaw drop.

He looked pale and gaunt, by the way.



What change is needed in the DIEt of humanity? Without being a nutrition expert of any kind, I would surmise the answer is very easy:

1. Eat as natural as possible.

2. Eat as meat free as possible.

3. Know what you are eating and where it came from.

But if you find it difficult to change your eating behavior, I would suggest asking one simple question before eating anything:

Why am I eating this?



I started this post telling you to stay hungry, and I meant it. Being financially incorrect [ref.272-data-read-poor] over the past year has prompted [ref.414-data-read-forced] me to fast periodically for brief periods. If you can get over a couple of days of ohmygodIamsofuckinghungry, believe it or not you actually start to look and feel a little better, and have more energy. There’s a reason every major religion has a period of fasting.

  Plus, believe it or not, I feel one becomes more creative and active by going hungry. For lack of a better term, you ‘hunger’ for something more – to be something more – and you won’t try to attain that something more if your creative juices are too busy attempting to digest an ultimate bacon cheeseburger. There’s a reason an artist is always better when they’re starving.


Refuse to swallow their shit.


You’ll be a better person for it.

And your penis will no longer be confused.

(Maggie Q may even make it happy enough to get another report from X’kalak)




~ by the living tiki on December 15, 2011.

7 Responses to “the living tiki vs 2012 (ROUND 1): Killer Clowns From Outer Space”

  1. “What I’ve figured out about the Atlanteans is that they went to the Atlantic Ridge sometime before 40,000 BC, and enjoyed the plentiful food, the abundant seafood and fruit and veggies and sea bird eggs, and got to spend a lot of time thinking instead of the normal food gathering. Also the climate was heavenly, they say.

    With all their free and easy brain food, and all their spare time, they could each sort of reach the absolute height of their thinking ability. Nobody discovers brilliant inventions while being exhausted trying to find any food. But on the Atlantic Ridge, they had a great diet and free time to start figuring out all sorts of things, like math and symbols and written language.

    But what they’d lost, without realizing it, was something that keeps social groups of mammals social. Having to work hard for food, having to share food, and having to keep a hungry tribe happy and peaceful. Whoever can do this becomes the leader. Whoever is too greedy or selfish to handle such situations, is kicked out of the tribe, and probably dies on their own. So the genes of people who can balance the two basic types of information, social and object, or people and things, get to stay in the group over generations.” -SMB

    Hey Tiki, I thought that I would include this piece from over at

    because it touched upon some of the same content you were getting into, and it seems to be the opposite end of this spectrum.

    Eat shit – kiss enlightenment goodbye

    Free and easy brainfood – create a conquering race (Atlanteans)

    Funny stuff, this english language, because to create which comes from “creatus” meaning to produce or grow is entymologically similar to “creaste” which means ridge (as in Atlantean Ridge). I should probably stop before I am accused of being too creative. Oh hell with it, one more before I close…..

    By today’s standards………..CR – EATING = Crap Eating

    OK, I’m done.


  2. Awesome post my friend, and not a moment too soon as everyone needs to quit eating this shite as it only ads to the fog (and sickness) most people that eat it are currently in (have)…

    All I can add is for everyone to try making fresh fruit 75% of their intake and then see how good / clear / energized you feel…

    and no worries mon,
    there is a ‘karmic transition time’ when we transition from ‘life being a pain in the ass’ to ‘everything working out amazingly beautifully all of the time’ once we wake up to our stupid actions that have been programmed since birth,
    but it’s not easy to get through, but you (we) will, it’s actually what all the little (or big) ‘wake-up calls’ are for….
    hang in there and keep doing the right thing, eventually the good overpowers the bad, it’s just that once you get your personal shite on track, then we still have to surf the consensus karma, but it’s a hell of a lot easier when we are more of an observer instead of a participant in the insanity…

    and thank you for your continued writing,
    it never fails to bring a smile to my face,
    especially when I’m here stuck in ‘the cube’…

    and once this wallet-sucking time of year is past,
    I will hopefully be activating your donate button…

    be well Tiki…!

    • Ms. Robinson: If you think I’m irritating, try being my sister. She typically ends up saying something like “Can’t I go anywhere with you?” I always manage to make her laugh while she’s saying that, though.

      Lone Frog: You reminded me I am remiss in putting a link to Susan’s blog on my sidebar – that will be remedied soon. Her post is very insightful. I think something energetically is happening to human beings, trying to ‘enlighten’ us (make us ‘lighter’ in a variety of ways), but the evil ones are muddying our bodies to prevent that from happening as much as possible. Thanks for the awesome comment, and a very happy new year to you!

      Brad: Thank you for the inspirational words of support. I think you provided the key to changing other people’s eating habits: Tell or show them how change in one’s own life has greatly improved one’s overall feeling and health. There’s nothing more motivational than encountering someone who is almost ‘glowing’ with health and wellness. All the best to you in 2012.

      LVB: Sorry if my methods seem heavy-handed. I don’t want to infringe on anybody’s personal freedom… just make them think about what they are putting in their mouth and why (And don’t worry – I not the type of person who will do that while you’re eating lunch. Maybe after you’ve finished…) As for sweater punkins, in an upcoming post the truth will be going topless…

  3. LVB’s review:

    Great stuff about the corp scum brainwashing and blatant suggestive advertisting tactics.

    A little heavy (to me, anyway) on the vegan-anti-meat propaganda. Freedom means people eat what (and who lol) they choose. Let them.

    Lastly, this post is shockingly lacking in punkins. More punkins, please.

    I think punkins are healthy for everyone, and even if they’re not, well they are sure as hell good for me. . 🙂

  4. Also, with all this talk of penis confusion, here’s something for you from one of the best punk bands ever that will make you feel so much better at this time of the year.

  5. And this classic LOL

    Oi to the world and everybody wins!

  6. Bloody irritating human-being!! Would you kindly desist from waking zzzzzz-beings up as they are trying to sleep.

    Horribly amazing pics.

    Keep the creating coming – I believe it works a special magic.

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