Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time

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The mood is right

The spirit’s up

We’re here tonight

And that’s enough

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Ever wondered why we have Santa Claus?

I’m sure you have. But then you got on the internet and found ten billion different origins and reasons confusing you even more.

He’s a saint:

He’s Satan:

He’s Thor:

He’s Nimrod:

He’s a mushroom:

(If you’ve ever wondered why the reindeer fly)

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Confused?

That’s what they want. The evil shapers of our reality don’t want you to simply ask the question….

Why am I putting my child on this strange guy’s lap?

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And there you have it: We’ve made a holiday tradition of training our children to become victims of pedophiles.

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The party’s on

If the feeling’s here

That only comes

This time of year

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Alex Robinson from Too Long In This Place (sidebar link) recently did a post about the “dark side” of ice cream, which included the sinister nature of ice cream trucks, and it occurred to me how we’ve come to accept the ‘tradition’ of the ice cream truck coming around during summertime (I grew up with them driving up and down my various childhood neighborhoods.) 

Don’t accept candy from strangers….

….unless of course they have a van with colorful stickers and hypnotic music-box melodies. Then by all means… here’s five bucks – don’t bother me for an hour or so.

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We’re certainly giving our children mixed messages, but a big clue as to why we do this was given to us by a man who absolutely loves children, Stephen Spielberg.

“Some secrets we keep. Some are kept from us.”

In this TV miniseries about alien abductions, there’s a scene of a little boy being taken by an alien. Was he abducted in the ‘usual way’ by being lifted through the air (and walls) into a waiting craft? No – He was led away from his home through his bedroom window by an alien disguising himself as a cartoon-looking, human-sized squirrel.

Spielberg wanted you to think the alien was doing this so to not frighten the child.

Um, Stephen… aliens would never supplant a ridiculous false memory like that. You know that.

  But pedophiles would. You know that too.

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If you have followed the work of the Celtic Rebel (and a little of mine), you would know that the evil shapers of our reality are pedophiles. It’s part of who they are and how they operate. And they want your children (and you) to be confused as hell as to whom you should trust:

Creepy guy in a van offering candy = NO

Santa, aliens, ice cream men, costumed characters = YES

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For crying out Christmas, they’re even showing you what “St. Nick” is all about:

(No… he wasn’t the patron saint of children bathing.)

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But yet we still put our children on the laps of some really creepy guys:

(Santa also likes to give out handcuffs as gifts.)

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We’ll even put them on the laps of creepy guys who only somewhat look like Santa Claus:

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Santa’s appearance has gone through many changes over the years….

Here’s an 1862 drawing by Thomas Nast that makes him look like a Bacchus party animal:

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He apparently was also an Indian guru:

(I’d obey the floating Santa head)

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Yet he’s mostly had that Gandalf wizard-type look:

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But somewhere along the way it was imprinted in all our minds to let this strange old man with magical abilities have a free pass into our homes, and complete access to our children.

Simply because he loves children.

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A lot.

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He loves children so much he wants to bring them presents for free (but only when they’re sleeping, so they won’t be 100% sure that it was Santa that fondled them left them presents.)

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How did we come to accept this? It’s not like Santa started out looking all cute and cuddly…

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I’m wondering what parent allowed this photo to happen.

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The choir of children sing their song

They’ve practiced all year long

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Parents, your children are telling you something. Are you paying attention?

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To be honest, I really don’t enjoy this time of year. It seems to have been orchestrated to be as stressful and time-consuming as possible.

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I did find the perfect greeting card for the season, however:

It’s disturbing, confusing, and hilarious all at the same time – kinda like Christmas.

And the perfect song (click on link for YouTube audio):

Wonderful Christmas Time

I titled this post with a bit of sardonic humor (obviously) but also because that is the title of a song which has been driving me crazy over the past month. It wasn’t the Paul McCartney version I was hearing everywhere, it was a female singer’s cover which sounded like she was bitterly screaming out the song almost in a Bjork like way. I had to know who it was, and it finally took a friend with an cellphone app for identifying songs to tell me….

Demi Lavato.

Now I know why she was singing like that. She works for Disney.

She’s also telling you in other ways:

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Since I don’t have children of my own, I’m not sure what advice I could give parents in dealing with this whole Santa nuttiness. I can only recommend trying to have a winter solstice that is simple and wonderful.

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The word is out

About the town

So lift your glass

And don’t look down


We’re simply having a wonderful Christmas time

Simply having a wonderful Christmas time


“Wonderful Christmas Time”

Paul McCartney

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Why can’t Santa be a normal pervert?

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From the age of volcanoes and the living tiki…

best wishes this season and a simply wonderful 2012 to everyone.

ONGOWA!

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~ by the living tiki on December 26, 2011.

6 Responses to “Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time”

  1. This pic should tell any reasonable person all they need to know about the origins of the paganization of the “holiday season”…from the ancient masters of pagan rituals themselves. Pic #2 is enough to give anyone the creeps, just on a basic, visceral level – no matter what you believe.

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/eixo/12-evilest-pope-pictures-e9k

    And on that note…Happy Holidays, and ONGOWA MF!!

  2. Look this is getting irritating, would you please stop pointing out the perfectly obvious & making all us normal people look like idiots for buying into it for so many years :]

    Was chatting with friends the other day & I got a sensation of what it is like for those who WILL want to bite you (in a slavering fanged kind of way … just in case you started having fantasies) for re-revealing this information – the sensation was that which you get some times when you’re deep asleep but something is niggling at you – the blankets have fallen off the bed, you need to go to the toilet – all you want to do is keep sleeping, you just don’t have the incentive or energy to move & so you doze & wake & doze & wake, & don’t/can’t move until it becomes a serious ’emergency’ i.e frost-bite or a soggy bed.

    Heartiest good wishes to you – I’d come back to finish reading your last article but instead found myself in a santa assault – some real scary pics there.
    Thanks for the shout out
    Ongowa & out

  3. creeptastic post…
    thanks to you and the Rebel, now one just can’t picture Santa doing anything positive with a bunch of ‘little minions’ (aka elves) much like what’s portrayed in Dispicable Me…must be a dream of these elite pedo’s to have an army of little men do whatever they ask,
    o wait a minute,
    that’s exactly what they have going already… : P

    Happy New Year Tiki!

    Here’s to a healthy and happy 2012 my friend
    and to all!

    • LVB: Thanks for ‘Vandalizing’ my last post with Christmas cheer – Great songs! I miss punk. However, in an upcoming post I will detail another song by the band who wrote the theme for “Killer Klowns From Outer Space”. As for the Pope picture link – I think I would put any future child of mine on the lap of some creepy mall Santa before even letting him near the Pope. A very happy new year and all the best to you in 2012, my friend! Ongowa!

      Ms. Robinson: Loved your analogy – many a night I have asked the ‘chilling’ question: “To pee, or not to pee?” However, I do relish revealing truth in a manner much like putting someone’s hand in a bowl of warm water while they’re sleeping. 🙂 I wish you all the best dreams, passion, and creativity in 2012!

      Brad: “Creeptastic” 🙂
      Good point about “minions” [typically clone-like servants of evil] being included in the Santa mythology as elves. I wonder if it’s implanting a sort of consent in a child’s mind: That the new Sony Playstation under the tree wasn’t made by third world child slave labor… it was made by elves. Happy, singing, dancing elves. I wish you a wonderful and happy 2012, my friend!

  4. I heard a good joke at Christmas about how all toys are made in China so technically that makes the Chinese ‘Santa’s elves’…(is that funny? I thought it was at the time!)

    Wishing you a Happy New Year…it’s 2012 already…

    😉

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