The Boston Amputee Party And The Day A Submarine Died

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Why did nobody question the blue M&M guy? Huh?

More curious, why the hell isn’t anybody looking at anybody else in this photo?

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Something in me, dark and sticky

All the time it’s getting strong

No way of dealing with this feeling

I can’t go on like this too long

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This time you’ve gone too far!

This time you’ve gone too far!

This time you’ve gone too far!

I told you! I told you! I told you! I told you!

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Don’t talk back, just drive the car!

Shut your mouth, I know what you are!

Don’t say nothing, keep your hands on the wheel!

Don’t turn around, this is for real!

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Digging in the dirt

Stay with me I need support

I’m digging in the dirt

Find the places I got hurt

Open up the places I got hurt

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“Digging In The Dirt”

Peter Gabriel

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age of volcanoes action news flash: the living tiki was fortunate enough to arrange a sit-down interview with one of, if not the, hero of the Boston Bombing, Carlos Arredondo. Enjoy.

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When the bombs went off on Patriot’s Day, the innocent citizens of Boston as well as runners from all over God’s green Earth were lucky that Carlos just happened to be there.

You see, all Carlos wanted to do at the Boston Marathon was remind people of the sacrifices our veterans make for their freedom, including the ultimate sacrifice made by his son in Iraq in 2004. Carlos made sure everybody remembered that by setting himself and a Marine Corps van on fire after two Marines and a chaplain arrived to tell him the bad news about his son. Since then, this Costa Rican-American couldn’t seem to avoid the news and famous people if he wanted to, spearheading various high-profile protests against President Bush as well as becoming a citizen due to involvement by Sen. Ted Kennedy.

Carlos, as we all know now, was the one who is responsible for saving the life of Jeff Bauman who unfortunately experienced a double amputation as a result of the bomb.

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But what we don’t know is that Carlos saved another life that day: Old Glory. He had brought the flag to the marathon to remind everyone they are Americans living in America. 

Little did Carlos know, as he shouted out his last “Freedom isn’t free!”, that seconds later a bomb would nearly take the life of that flag….

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Fortunately for all of us, the dramatic heroism of Carlos was recorded in a series of photographs, which will soon become a permanent feature display in the Smithsonian Museum along with that flag once it’s made a full recovery at Beth Israel hospital. Carlos detailed the horrific minutes of Islamic terrorism he experienced that day exclusively for the age of volcanoes….

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After introductions, I decided to start off our conversation right at the moment…

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tiki: The first bomb goes off.

Carlos: The first bomb goes off. [softly nodding, gazing in the distance]

tiki: Tell us about those first few seconds.

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Carlos: Um, wow… that’s a lot. [running a hand through his hair]

tiki: Take your time.

Carlos: Well, OK first I was like… holy mackerel, guys, you fired off the freedom cannon way too early! But then I realized there was no freedom cannon… and I saw blood. I knew then something was terribly wrong.

tiki: Blood on Old Glory?

Carlos: No, no, the flag was uninjured at that time, thank God – my body shielded it from the blast. Then I checked my hat, which was OK too. I was blessed, unlike all the people around me with injuries and missing limbs. That was gross.

tiki: So you sprang into action to help them?

Carlos: No… even though I knew some of them would be dead in less than two minutes, I was the only person there who had the foresight to know the most important thing was to get that fence down. How can these people be helped, I thought, if emergency personnel have to walk ten feet out of their way to get to them? Besides, like I said – it was gross.

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tiki: Look at all those people having trouble getting to the wounded. Most of them are just standing there, dumfounded. You took on an entire wood fence while still protecting Old Glory just seconds after the second bomb went off – were you scared?

Carlos: I’d be lyin’ if I said I wasn’t, but you don’t think about that in situations like these, you just act. Well, at least me… I don’t know ’bout regular folk. I used to be a rodeo clown when I was younger in Costa Rica. I think that training prepared me to run to danger instead of away from it.

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tiki: Wow, you seem to be the only one taking action in that photo.

Carlos: I know, right? I’m all like: “Git ‘er done!” [laughing] But that’s when I encountered another problem: There was a steel fence behind the wooden one – It was a disheartening setback.

tiki: I can only imagine. But yet you continued on.

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Carlos: I continued on. Thankfully some police were catching on to what I was doing, and just went around the fence. They kept telling me, “Stop, stop… that doesn’t matter! There are people here bleeding to death who need your help!” But it mattered to me, and it mattered to America.

tiki: And that’s when the unthinkable occurred.

Carlos: Yep. One of the actual terrorists himself – Dzhokhar, I believe – slipped unnoticed through the crowd and stabbed Old Glory when I had set the flag down to get to the fence better. 

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tiki: That’s incredible.

Carlos: I don’t know how he got past all of us, as well as the cameras, but you can see the flag starting to bleed in this next photo.

tiki: You look stunned.

Carlos: I was stunned. I let the flag – I let America – completely down. I failed.

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tiki: Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re a hero. You even didn’t miss a beat in getting back to that fence.

Carlos: I’m no hero. I’m just your average red-blooded Costa Rican-American who ended up doing some pretty heroic things that day. [water began welling up in his eyes]

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tiki: Let’s talk about Dzhokhar for a moment. Don’t you think it’s kind of weird that his name is pronounced “Zjo-kar”, as in “Joker”, another famous mad bomber?

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Carlos: I’ll leave that monster up to the intelligence guys.

tiki: He sure appeals to the young ladies – The bad boy. Doesn’t it really piss you off that this monster is stealing away the attention of hot snatch from the rest of us?

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Carlos: What the hell are you talking about?

tiki: Oh… apologies Mr. Arredondo. age of volcanoes interviews are different from other media outlets. I’m just saying that I’m really getting this whole Dionysian/Jim Morrison vibe from how Dzhokhar is being presented in the media.

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Carlos: Who’s in the what now? Can we talk about me being a hero again?

tiki: Sure. Let’s try something different – Out of all the victims, who do you wish you could’ve saved… you know, for the wishful possibility of life-saving-thank-you sex?

Carlos: Huh?

tiki: I’m sorry. I sorta start pondering these things. Hm… OK, who do you at least remember thinking was pretty?

Carlos: Uh, well… I guess Victoria McGrath. I met her later and then saw another photo of her online…

tiki: The one where she’s in the water? Seen it!

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tiki: That other dude sure swooped her up fast. I guess that’s why he’s smiling like he’s at least going to get a life-saving-thank-you handjob. But I like the look of the guy to his right: “Awww shoot. I was gonna rescue her!” [laughing] And who the hell is the random Nike ballcap guy with a sidearm? Police? FBI? Private security? Random guy with a sidearm?

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Carlos: Um.. OK, I don’t know all that, but I do know his quick action saved her leg – they didn’t need to amputate.

tiki: Yeah… that wound does look pretty bad. What do you think about Adrianne Haslet? 

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Carlos: Damn shame about her leg. She was a dancer, you know. Can’t quite figure out where she was at the time – can’t really see her in the photos.

tiki: Hm, yeah that is interesting. You don’t see her much at the event, but we sure are getting a complete photo album of recovery. And in almost every one she’s totally smiling, like her amputation happened years ago instead of quite recently. Amazing gal. I’ll tell you what, even though she’s missing a leg, she’s still ridiculously adorable. I would totally shag her.

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Carlos: Shag? What? What does that mean? mr. tiki, I fail to see how this is relevant to the heroism and tragedy of the Marathon bombing. People died, you know.

tiki: Um, yeah, hold that thought…. I’ve just decided that since this is my blog, I’m gonna have to put up a Adianne Haslet cute hotness gallery.

Carlos: A what?

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tiki: Adrianne, don’t mind the leg at all. Anytime you want to….

Carlos: Look, mr. tiki, this is all making me really uncomfortable and I think you are making light of a very serious tragedy.

tiki: Are you kidding? Bradley Cooper already started making moves on Victoria!

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tiki: Man, he is surrounded by injured hotness. Bastard.

Carlos: This is seriously rude. C’mon, did you hear a guy lost his fiancee?

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tiki: Holy crap…. I thought that was a shoe ad! The neon green really focused my attention.

Carlos: Do you even care about anyone in this event?

tiki: I care about Adrianne Haslet. I hope she realizes Anderson Cooper is gay. Seriously Adrianne, if you need a physical therapy partner, or whatever, just let me….

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Carlos: Good God, man, have you no decency? An eight year old girl died at the marathon!

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tiki: Oh man, OK… I guess I’m 0 for 2 then.  I thought that was an ad as well for muscular dystrophy or something. That girl just doesn’t look right. But that does bring up the weirdness of a lot of the wounded that day wearing red, and all these red shirt references.

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Carlos: Oh, shag means sex. That’s awful. You know what? I’m done with this interview.

tiki: No, please… I’m sorry. I really want to finish your story – We haven’t even gotten to Jeff yet. Please… America needs to know there are still heroes out there selflessly protecting them. Let’s get back to that fence – looks like you had some “boots on the ground” support.

Carlos: Yes, there were actual U.S. Marines in full gear marching the marathon for our troops. One of them was marching in memory of my son.

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tiki: Wow, even wearing combat boots for a 26 mile run. That’s amazing that they finished the race exactly around the time of the bombing to help you out.

Carlos: Not amazing… the work of God. But then again, Marines will always be there to help you out!

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tiki: It looks like the bombing just happened… there’s still smoke wafting through the air.

Carlos: That’s our troops!

tiki: I’m wondering, how come you don’t see those Marines in any other photos?

Carlos: There’s another photo!

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tiki: OK, two photos. That street looks oddly debris free.

Carlos: Can we move on to when I save Jeff?

tiki: Sure.

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tiki: OK, the fence is down – mission accomplished. And well done I might add.

Carlos: Thanks.

tiki: What happened then?

Carlos: Well, I was just starting to take a breather putting my hat back on when I noticed that some people were finally paying attention to the guy with no legs who was bleeding for five minutes on the ground ten feet away from me.

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tiki: You’d think he would’ve died from shock and blood loss already. Or at least lost consciousness.

Carlos: I know. That’s when I saw that absolutely no one was trying to stop the bleeding! Not even the medical professionals. They were just trying to get him on a wheelchair. So I ran over and said “Hey, we gotta stop his bleeding right now!” and pinched his femoral artery with my finger which I guess was difficult for the medics to locate because it wasn’t spurting blood all over like major arteries always do.

tiki: What was the medics’ response?

Carlos: Well, since I was the only one who seemed to know what he was doing, they all looked to me: “Cowboy, what should we do next?” they asked me and I said, “That’s why I got the fence down! Let’s get him out of here, now! Let’s roll!” And we were off.

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tiki: And there you are, in the most famous photo from the event. Almost iconic now. How does that make you feel?

Carlos: It makes me always remember what I was thinking at the time.

tiki: Which was?

Carlos: “This is gross, this is gross, this is gross, this is gross…” [laughing] Sorry, even selfless heroes have their squeamish moments.

tiki: At least you did it. Not even the people wearing sterilized gloves or vests stating PHYSICIAN in bold letters helped. Hey I’m wondering, what was it like to work with Steven Spielberg? This photo also kinda makes me wonder why a stretcher wasn’t used to transport Jeff considering his condition. Oh, and look – there’s random Nike ballcap guy with a sidearm again.

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Carlos: That was an amazing surprise seeing Spielberg there. He just seemed to take charge, you know? And a humble man at that… he kept telling everybody to call him “Dr. Wolf”, like he didn’t want people to know how selfless he really was.

tiki: Um, Carlos, you do know this was a faked, staged and scripted event – just like a movie. That’s why Spielberg was there… to help “direct” it.

Carlos: Uh.. what?

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tiki: And you’re acting too, Breck.

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Carlos: Whoa, whoa… your people said you wouldn’t bring up this conspiracy crap! I’m a real person, you know… I’m listed on Wikipedia.

tiki: You’re also busted on WellAware1.com.

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Carlos: That’s it, I’m outta here! [takes off shirt microphone, throws it to the floor] This is a hatchet job. You should be ashamed of yourself!

tiki: Wait, you haven’t even heard my theory that the “hot snatch for Dzhokhar” is played by the girl on the left…

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age of volcanoes disclaimer: Interview is as real as the Boston Bombing.

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Folks, this time they have gone too far. They’re even majorly working the conspiracy theorists – I swear, if I hear the words “False Flag” one more goddamn time, I’m going to vomit. On Alex Jones.

This isn’t a false flag (I’m allowing myself to write the words), it’s an event used to make them money, allow them more overt control of your life (they already have complete control over it, they’re just getting lazy), and continue programming your perception of reality. If you doubt me, check out all the labels on the microphones when the Boston officials were giving their initial press conferences about the event – oddly (but no) you will see “Info Wars” front and center before any of the major networks.

And if you’ve noticed, they didn’t think all this up yesterday… they were prepping for it years ago with “Carlos” making headlines as early as 2004. And they were working off programming from decades prior:

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Where the Adonis/ Dionysus / rockstar image was reinforced and solidified:

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Steven Spielberg, Disney’s Eisner family, Bradley Cooper, Anderson Cooper… hopefully you’re beginning to see all the connections to realize most all of the human reality you are experiencing is complete bullshit being used to continuously program you and keep you asleep and enslaved. Keep in mind Disney now owns Marvel Comics and Star Wars. Disney also (unsuccessfully) attempted to copyright the term “Seal Team Six”. Um…. huh?

If you’re thinking that’s impossible given the scope of control over everything – government, media, military, entertainment – and the job of finding a lot of people who are perfectly willing to say “Yes I’d love to be a prostitute for evil!”, then I’d recommend not watching TV so much anymore:

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(ABC is owned by Disney too, by the way)

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They’ve been at this a very, very long time and they know how to work your consciousness in so many different ways…. 

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They’re even mocking your ignorance….

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And preying upon your apathy….

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Taking care of our wounded returning soldiers and insuring they can return to normalcy should be a top priority and automatically budgeted with our government (you know, who they are really fighting for) but more and more we are (at least) given the perception that this is not the case. 

Therefore it is the job of the false persona of Carlos Arrendondo to make you think that something is actually being done about our brave sons and daughters being corporate mercenaries, or at least continuously remind you of their suffering [Did you know Carlos got Gov. Mitt Romney to lower the flags in Massachusetts to half-staff once to “Remember Our Fallen Troops”? Wow, what a guy! That does absolutely nothing!]. This is probably all one giant [extremely] evil scam to make you want to donate to the dozens and dozens of “Support Our Troops” type charities out there, especially for wounded or fallen soldiers, with only a couple of them being truly legitimate and truly helping veterans. The evil ones already have numerous fake “Feed the Children” type charities out there.

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Nonetheless, I think people need to come away from all this with a little bit of hope – a true story about a real hero helping people after an explosion: My father.  

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Even though my father was under the misguided belief he was part of a military protecting American freedom and liberty, his heroism wasn’t motivated by ideology but rather simply putting other people’s lives before his own. I’ve made his story a bit ambiguous for anonymity, but also to illustrate that he’s nobody special… just a man. He was never interviewed on Good Morning America, and never got a visit from Bradley Cooper or Anderson Cooper in the hospital. He did however receive the highest peacetime award our military bestows: The Navy and Marine Corps medal.  

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The Day A Submarine Died

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Many, many years ago, my father was an officer serving aboard a U.S. Navy diesel powered submarine. His sub had been in a Naval base shipyard for several weeks until it was ready to deploy on a months long tour, which would get underway the next day. Obviously the day before, since a full boat’s compliment wasn’t needed, most of the crew was on liberty until the following morning with just a skeleton crew aboard making final preparations.

My father was one of those on liberty, spending the afternoon that day getting his drink on at the nearby base’s officer’s club before returning to his quarters on the sub for the night. He was probably doing an excellent job of it until one of the club’s staff came up and said, “Sir, we’ve just received a call from the pier sentry where your sub is tied. There’s been an explosion.”  He immediately raced to the pier, arriving to see a second explosion rock the submarine violently.

What had happened was that two sailors of the skeleton crew had been rushing through their particular preparations in order to finish early and have more time for liberty. They left for the day, forgetting to stop the charging of the diesel boat’s batteries. Charging a sub’s batteries always generates the by-product of hydrogen gas, and normally a submarine’s ventilation system is prepared to handle that, but not when the batteries are continuously charging after reaching full charge. So much hydrogen had built up, all that was needed was the tiniest spark and 

boom.

With the sub’s Captain still many minutes away from arriving, my father quickly started forming firefighting and rescue teams with the handful of crew that had arrived, those that had escaped, and the base’s emergency responders. He led the rescue team, saving the lives of four men.

Three times my father entered Hell enclosed in a floating steel can. Only twice he would came back out.

A third explosion had blown him against the sub’s bulkhead like a rag doll, causing multiple fractures and burns in a second. Even though others were able to carry his body clear of the sub quickly after, he was pronounced dead on the pier by medical personnel treating the injured. All in all, five men were injured and six were dead.

But wait…

not six,

five.

When the ambulances started taking men to the hospital, an observant medic miraculously noticed some sign of life from my father. He was still alive, and rushed to intensive care at a local hospital. He would be in critical condition for weeks, and in rehabilitation for six months. Amazingly, when he had finally all healed, he presented very little indication that this disaster had ever happened to him except for one thing: His left leg had been smashed so badly it needed to be amputated above the knee. His Navy career was over.

Well, maybe not just one thing. He was no longer the young, daring, passionate rouge he once was, instead becoming emotionless, distant, and throwing himself into his work. Being born well over a decade later [thankfully he didn’t lose his studliness], I only knew the father who raised me with engineering terms: “With the proper lever and fulcrum you can move the world, son.” Not the father who was flying airplanes at age 14.

Yet my father has left a living legacy: Four men. Four men who got another chance at life due to his selfless heroism. Four men who married, produced children, then grandchildren.

There are literally dozens of people alive today who owe basically their entire existence to my father’s brave actions.

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Suck on that, Carlos Breck.

If all you evil bastards all got together, you still wouldn’t make one-tenth of the man my father was. Even with one leg.

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ONGOWA!

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By the way, my father HATED Israel. Not the Jews entirely, just the ones that were responsible for the murder of 34 sailors aboard the USS Liberty. Nonetheless, he would occasionally remind people that there are very few Stars of David on the headstones in the cemeteries of Normandy.

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Wait, one last thing: Although I’ve never experienced the horror of losing both legs, it does perplex me as to how a West Point graduate and Afghanistan veteran could sell out to this lie. I guess it was the way I was raised.

Lt. Nick Vogt, you’re lucky my father has long since passed away. If he were alive, knew of your acting prostitution and happened to meet you, he would probably slap you harder than Patton slapped that cowardly (Jewish) soldier during WWII.

That would be because you are aiding those screwing over your brothers in the military, not particularly humanity in general (which would be the reason I would slap you.) My father didn’t lose his honor with his leg.

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~ by the living tiki on May 19, 2013.

5 Responses to “The Boston Amputee Party And The Day A Submarine Died”

  1. Nice.

  2. You mentioned you were working on a piece about the Boston Massacre. Must say this is totally over the top. Best piece of investigative reporting I have ever witnessed.

  3. In discussions with Eleeth D of Mask of God…

    Dzhokhar Tsarnaev = 4+26+8+15+11+8+1+18+20+19+1+18+14+1+5+22 =

    191

    191 is the Joker to the 808 Stone, the Ace of Spades. I dare you to find Deborah in the nude 🙂

    distance to touch either pillar

    all on one glance

    PS – You did a fine job with that interview! Too bad your not up on Capitol Hill today asking the same questions to the Jokers about Scandal a thru z.
    They wouldn’t know anyway .. the jiggle under the table is all they care about. Set cannot hold linear time forever .. it doesn’t exist and he continually needs supplements to bang she bots while watching gay porn.

  4. Powerful

  5. Maybe you are interested

    Best regards from the Pyrenees mountains

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