Chapel Perilous (now with 5% more lunacy!)

twins of evil 1971 Alter naked wallpaper 1000.

Welcome to Chapel Perilous, lost children.

.

All are invited to mass, few attend.

.

The girls are preparing the altar, and we will begin shortly.

Now all rise for Pastor tiki as we start with an opening hymnal.

.

The organists can be found here.

.

_________________________________

It’s been

One week since you looked at me

Cocked your head to the side and said “I’m angry”

Five days since you laughed at me

Saying, “Get that together, come back and see me”

Three days since the living room

I realized it’s all my fault but couldn’t tell you

Yesterday you’d forgiven me

But it’ll still be two days till I say I’m sorry

.

Hold it now and watch the hoOdwinK

As I maKe you stop, thinK

You’ll thinK you’re loOKing at Aquaman

I summon FISH to the dish, although I liKe the Chalet Swiss

I liKe the sushi ’cause it’s never touched a frying pan©

.

Hot liKe wasabe when I bust rhymes, big liKe Leann Rimes

Because I’m ALL about value

Bert Kaempfert’s got the mad™ hits, you try to match wits

You try to hold me but I bust through

.

Gonna maKe a breaK and taKe a faKe I’d liKe a stinKin’ achin’ shaKe I liKe vanilla it’s the finest of the flavors

Gotta SEE the show ’cause then you Know the vertigo is gonna grow ’cause it’s so dangerous you’ll have to sign a waiver

.

How can I help it when I think you’re funny when you’re mad?

Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad

I’m the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral

Can’t understand what I mean?

Well, you soon will

I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve

I have a history of taking off my shirt

.

It’s been

One week since you looked at me

Threw your arms in the air and said “You’re crazy”

Five days since you tackled me

I’ve still got the rug burns on both my knees

It’s been three days since the afternoon

You realized it’s not my fault and not a moment too soon

Yesterday you’d forgiven me

And now I sit back and wait till you say you’re sorry

.

ChicKety China, the Chinese chicKen

You have a drumsticK and your brain stops ticKin’

Watching X-files with no lights on, we’re dans la maison

I hope the SmoKing Man’s in this one

LiKe Harrison Ford I’m getting Frantic

LiKe Sting® I’m Tantric

LiKe Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy

.

Like Kurosawa I maKe mad films, OK I don’t maKe films

But if I did they’d have a samurai

Gonna get a set of better CLUBS, gotta find the Kind with tiny nubs just so my irons aren’t always flying off the bacK swing

Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon ’cause that cartoOn has got the BOOM! anime babes that maKe me thinK the wrong thing (π)

.

How can I help it when I think you’re funny when you’re mad?

Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad

  I’m the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral

Can’t understand what I mean?

You soon will

I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve

I have a history of losing my shirt

.

It’s been

One week since you looked at me

Dropped your eyes to the side and said “I’m sorry”

Five days since I laughed at you

And said, “You just did just what I thought you were gonna do”

Three days since the living room

We realized we’re both to blame, but what could we do?

Yesterday you just smiled at me

‘Cause it’ll still be two days till we say we’re sorry

.

It’ll still be two days till we say we’re sorry

It’ll still be two days till we say we’re sorry

Birchmount Stadium home OF the Robbie

.

“One Week”

Barenaked Ladies

_________________________________

.

.

You may be seated. Thank you all for coming.

Not that long ago, when I enjoyed watching the television show Family Guy, I would often reference the show with a co-worker who enjoyed it as well.

.

Remember when Peter and Lois went to that KISS fan-fest, and it was revealed that Lois had previously slept with Chaim Witz, um I mean, Gene Simmons? 

.

cp kiss_family_guy_.

.

At least Family Guy thankfully reminded us of just how Jewish and gay KISS really is.

.

cp Kiss faces

.

You keep on shouting, you keep on shouting….

I….  wanna build a thirty year career off one song….

and party every day!

.

But that is not the point, children. You see, every time I referenced a certain scene like the one above, that exact scene would be broadcast on the syndicated late night repeat of Family Guy that night on my TV. I didn’t have a TV guide and never knew what episode it would be in advance, therefore I quickly began to believe I was physic.

To my dismay however, a more sinister thing had happened – I realized that the TV station was broadcasting the episodes in their seasonal order, from season 1 through season 7, then repeating that order again. In other words, I had watched Family Guy so much, my mind was subconsciously remembering the exact order of the episodes, and ‘predicting’ what favorite scene I would see that night.

I don’t watch Family Guy anymore.

.

Here’s something even more disturbing. This “synchro-psychic” power seems to enable me to predict upcoming events and pop-culture.

For example, in my Boston Marathon posting, I got the strong feeling the media was attempting to turn bomber Dzhokhar Tsanaraev into a sex symbol not unlike Jim Morrison, and then this happened:

.

bs byers8

.

Or… my ‘psychic’ power might come to me in a series of related things, like my last post which featured eclectic bits such as Brasil, taking personal action, the guy who plays the Pope (who also starred in the movie Brazil), and riding the bus….  and then what happened?

Riots started happening in Brasil (supposedly) sparked by bus fare increases and then the Pope visited there.  (Yeah, I know I totally posted it after all that happened, but I wrote most of it before, I swear!)

.

bs brazil-confed-cup-protests

What’s Portuguese for “overkill”?

.

The disturbing part about this was that in the last post I wrote about beheadings as well, and then a very real-life beheading actually happened in Brasil, occurring at a local soccer game right after a referee stabbed a favorite player to death during the match.

No, I’m not making that up. That’s why you’re not getting a photo.

.

The lyrics of the above song are depicted that way to emphasize the dichotomy of the song [and how my brain’s functioning these days]: The madness of a brain alternating between moments of real life interaction and passion to those of implanted artificial brain-worms of pop-culture.

The biting irony is that the cause of both states of mental action are most likely the result of the same evil social-engineering permeating and structuring our lives.

Simplified (heh), the protagonist of the song is entering  Chapel Perilous.

.

cp chapel-perilous

.

Broken many fine minds indeed.

Chapel Perilous (in a paranormal sense) was conceptualized by an author named Robert Anton Wilson, who died in 2007. He was best known for a series of novels in the 70’s known as The Illuminatus Trilogy.

.

cp Illum_EitP-1975

.

Wilson studied engineering, mathematics, and psychology, but his Illuminatus inspiration came to him while exploring his writing skills and working as an assistant editor at Playboy magazine [big red flag] whereupon he reviewed all the magazine’s reader letters about conspiracies.

This made him create the philosophy of Discordianism: Simplified – to be agnostic about everything.

To Wilson, once one enters Chapel Perilous, you will come out either stone paranoid or agnostic. To him, there is no other way.

However, having entered Chapel Perilous myself and being stuck in it long enough to become a pastor, I have a third alternative: a sacrifice.

.

“Is”, “is”, “is”. The idiocy of the word haunts me. If it were abolished, human thought might begin to make sense. I don’t know what anything “is”, I only know how it seems to me at this moment.

Robert Anton Wilson

.

Wilson sparked Discordianism by making his conspiracy novels such an intertwined mix of truth and fiction that readers were essentially mentally shoved into Chapel Perilous.

Some subplots of the first book (from Wikipedia):

“One [subplot] addresses biological warfare and the overriding of the United States Bill Of Rights, another gives a detailed account of the John F. Kennedy assassination, in which no fewer than five snipers, all working for different causes, prepared to shoot Kennedy in Dallas, Texas, and the books’ climax occurs at a rock concert where the audience collectively faces the danger of becoming a mass human sacrifice.”

.

Wilson’s writings inspired a detailed description and definition of Discordianism in a book by two other authors called Principia Discordia:

.

cp fnord_principia_discordia_tshirt-d2358969367307145832nfm3_500

.

I’ve never read it, but perhaps I should – This is one of it’s ‘revelations’:

.

cp 54th

.

Wilson’s writings also inspired a religion? ….a cult? ….a philosophy?….a running parody of all of the above?

….a something. Yeah, that’s it – a something:

.

cp subgenius

.

I think their end-times supposedly starts when their pipe-smoking ethereal guru, J.R. “Bob” Dobbs, becomes a Professor X type guy who unites all the world’s saviors to fight the illuminati, the NWO, and of course, the Anti-Bob.

Personally, I’m sorta hoping that happens. 

.

cp S-or-D

JFK and Elvis are also considered world saviors, but Jesus is the one who gets all Wolverine on evil’s ass.

.

Let the 1000 years of slack begin!

.

cp subgenius_1

.

And always remember….

.

cp KingKong

.

.

And all of the above inspired the now infamous Illuminati: NWO game cards which have become a conspiracy nerd’s check off list:

.

cp th i

.

Check. Check.

.

.

cp oth

.

Check.

.

.

cp 3th

.

Check. Check.

.

.

cp Illuminati Card Game Joggers Marathon 2013.

Check.

.

.

cp 4c2cd3886b0ab_58244n

.

Not check.

Oh my freakin’ god, not check!!!

.

.

cp bimboatelevenpng

.

Whew!

Check.

.

cp 0

.

Confirmed: Check and check.

.

.

Now let us continue the celebration with a parable. Please turn to The Book of tiki, chapter 4, verses 19 through 47.

.

One warm spring afternoon, a zen master and his pupil, the living tiki, were strolling through the Japanese countryside in their comfy orange robes and sandals, not speaking a word in silent meditation and connection with the now.

After some distance, they happened upon a river which they needed to cross. Spending a few moments in observation of the river’s width and swiftness, they both silently concluded to each other that crossing would present no difficulty and began wading in. At that moment a beautiful young woman appeared, walking towards them from downstream and wearing absolutely nothing.

“Please, kind sirs, I need your help.” she stated without alarm while shyly covering herself with her arms. “I was bathing in the river but was caught in the current and taken downstream to the opposite bank. I need to get to the other side where my clothes are so that I may return home. Can you help me cross?”

“Worry no further, young lady,” the zen master replied, “We were about to cross the river ourselves, and I am more than strong enough to carry you.” With that he stooped forward, indicating for her to climb upon his back. The girl thanked him for his kindness and wrapped her lithe arms and legs around his torso. As the three ventured in, the living tiki’s widening eyes betrayed a desire to speak, yet he remained silent.

After a few moments they reached the opposite side and walked up the bank, stopping when the ground was level. The zen master crouched again, allowing the girl to get off. “You have been most kind and helpful, sirs. Many blessings to you,” she stated while bowing. “Good day,” she added, and then sprightly darted upstream along the bank. The two men briefly observed her departure then continued on into the countryside. Again, the living tiki looked as if something was weighing upon his mind, but said nothing. 

As they walked, the zen master gazed straight ahead with eyes both alert and relaxed, while the living tiki began looking more and more troubled. He stopped, no longer able to contain his thoughts.

“Master, I think you have greatly erred in agreeing to help that girl. There is a village nearby, and she would’ve eventually received aid from another. Her continued presence negated the exercise in meditation you were teaching me. Again and again I attempt to clear my mind, but all I can think about is delicate, lovely eyes and long, silken black hair glistening with moisture. Rose nipples amidst white skin like two succulent strawberries floating in fresh morning cream. A bottom more shapely and lovely than…  Oh to hell with this I can’t even speak in calm, parable monk-speak anymore – good god that girl had the most spectacular ass I’ve ever seen and I am seriously sporting major wood right now! These supposedly loose robes don’t do a a damn thing to help me out and I wasn’t even the one who carried her! Ongowa!” he finished with a pleading shout to the heavens.

The zen master had stopped to listen, but all the time remaining quietly looking forward. He first let out a slight chuckle, then spoke. “I only carried the girl across the river, my friend, but it appears you have been carrying her ever since.”

A calmness washed over the living tiki as he whispered a sound of understanding. “Thank you master, your wisdom is beyond measure. Next time I must remember to bring a camera.”

.

.

loss

.

.

Chapel Perilous will humble you, children.

You will not be overwhelmed by the grandiosity of the conspiracy, but rather it’s sheer lunacy.

Yet that lunacy comes from the evil ones playing around with the very fabric of who and what we are as a species. It’s the reason most of us don’t spring out of bed in the morning, eager to squeeze every minute out of a new day and thanking the Creator for everything.

We go through our days not noticing the beauty and wonder of existence that surrounds us, wishing for some future moment that will never come. Sleepwalking tikis, I think I called us when I began this blog.

.

tiki ptm-l

If I didn’t have to catch this damn bus I could be so drunk right now. 

.

.

Yet it’s the lunacy of it that will be your personal downfall (or enlightenment).

Be careful. Be extremely careful. Because it goes like this…..

.

Ready; Oh my god, Beyonce is Illuminati!

.

cp beyonce-Illuminati-500x291

.

.

Steady: Oh my god, Beyonce faked her pregnancy!

.

cp Beyonce fake Preggy Neduzi

.

.

Go: Oh my god, Beyonce is a…. dude?!

.

Superbowl XLVII - Baltimore Ravens v San Francisco 49ers  - Mercedes-Benz Superdome

BEYONCE WANT SNU SNU!

.

This photo alone should have you seriously wondering if Beyonce possesses a Y chromosome, but if y’all need some more convincing, you can check out the evidence on YouTube here.

.

Again, beware…

there may will be more…

.

cp Megan-Fox1

.

Once one enters Chapel Perilous, one doesn’t need proof of such things, because the moment a possibility presents itself (like Beyonce not being born a woman), one instantly calculates the probability based on everything else known (the music industry and homosexuality, the cult of Cybelle, the fake theater reality, etc.) and then the connection fits as snug as a puzzle piece, revealing more of the grandiose lunacy.

Another example:

.

Keep your eye on the other hand:

Ready: In one hand there are three sexually harassing politicians, Elliot Spitzer, Anthony Weiner, and Bob Filner, who are currently assessing how much of a sucker you are. [They’re following the lead of Governor Mark Sanford who told everyone he was hiking the Appalachian trail when he was really down in Argentina banging his mistress – He got re-elected.]

Steady: In the other hand there are two new changes to our society: Same-sex domestic partners are now entitled to spousal benefits in the military, and transgender students in California grades K-12 can now use whatever gender bathroom or locker room they want. There is also a varied media campaign telling you just how bad the number of rapes of women in the military is getting.  [That is, after ten years of the media heavily promoting the idea of women in the military, especially in combat.]

.

Go: Mayor Bob Filner is currently being accused of sexual harassment above and beyond even Glen Quagmire, including making advances upon female veterans during a rally intended to garner awareness about rape and PTSD in the military, where the Mayor was invited to speak.

Really?

.

cp_n2

.

Yes, really. Because you’re in Chapel Perilous. And Chapel Perilous further demands that the feminist attorney representing the first woman to bring suit against Filner, Gloria Allred, was also the same one representing a porn star harassed by Anthony Weiner.

A porn star sexually harassed by a Weiner. Nope, not making that up either. But you get a picture.

.

cp ginger-lee11

.

Come to think of it, whenever there’s a woman being sexually harassed by somebody famous using other people’s your money, Gloria is always there to get the rest of it [your money].

.

cp gloria_allred_on_piers_morgan_march_2012

.

cp 6322159489_135cf21cf2

.

She also seems to have appeared on The Simpsons [bigger red flag]:

.

cp 250px-Gloria_Allred

.

.

Now hold on, Pastor tiki… sure, there may be some funny business going on, but that’s all trite stuff – Some very real and serious tragedies are happening, like that poor girl being abducted after the guy killed her mom and brother….

.

OK who let Fear in?

And right in the middle of my sermon, too.

Bambi?

Thumper?

Please show Fear the exit. Thank you.

.

cp bambithumper

Gotta love the alter girls.

.

Fear does have a point, however. Did that really happen or was it just just another fake sideshow in this carnival reality?

It was a good initial test run for the Amber Alert cell phone paging system over several states. Everybody in my area pretty much had the same reaction:

“What the hell is my phone telling me?”

.

cp Amber Alert

.

Out here, all the laws are named after dead, pretty, white, female children: Amber Alerts, Jessica’s Law, Megan’s Law, Chelsea’s Law….

Dead white girl = new law. 

.

bs Charles+Ramsey.+Charles+Ramsey+the+man+who+saved+the+day_509738_4577051

.

That’s an actual quote by Mr. Charles Ramsey above which is exactly the point I stopped at that abduction story. My suspicions of fakery were recently confirmed with the suicide of the abductor in jail. He’s dead and the girls get tons of donations from their appearance in People magazine. Hm… convenient. Although I think the participation of “Mr. Ramsey” was utilized more as yet another subtle division between the races.

.

Thankfully Hannah Anderson’s grandparents wore “Pray for Hannah” shirts when being interviewed on TV which may have actually saved her life and spared us from “Hannah’s Law”:

.

cp Hannah-Anderson-grandparents_1376048564331_698288_ver1.0_320_240

Oh no, we don’t want to provide any useful information on these shirts, just reminding people that God makes the final decision on the fate of our granddaughter.

.

Or maybe it was all the lolita-esque photos she’d already posted of herself online, which at least kept her in the thoughts of men:

.

cp hannah-anderson-photos-7

.

cp article-anderson-0808

.

But if you really want need to know if this is a fake event, it’s simple. First wait for the drama:

‘Was Hannah somehow involved with the murder of her mother and brother?’

(Insinuated by the sister of abductor on CNN)

and then look for the money shot:

.

cp usa-missing-california

What teen girl gives a look like this at their mother and brother’s funeral?

.

POST UPDATE: Silly me, I was going to tell you the real money shot was the Nike logo prominently displayed on the football as part of the memorial for her brother, but apparently I didn’t take this photo far enough.

It’s a fucking Starbucks ad:

.

Burned Bodies 2

And now you know why she was giving that look: I love iced mocha frappachinos!

.

.

And then you have a recent offering from Miley Cyrus, where every photo of her begins with the words, “What teen girl would…”:

.

cp leadvma2013

.

The teen girls of Chapel Perilous, that’s who.

.

.

And what of catastrophic tragedies, like Syria?

Reality can’t get more real than chemical weapons.

.

Yes, but this photo of victims couldn’t be more fake:

.

cp palestineegyptsyriadetail

The baby is there to distract you from this ‘spontaneous’ photo having the most perfect visual composition for maximum emotional impact. If you don’t need to be told what it’s about because the picture explains the entire story, it’s fake. (The mourning man’s head is down because none of these damn crisis actors are able to produce even one single tear.) A picture is worth a thousand lies.

Oh, they also want you to check out Armani Exchange when you have a chance.

.

Now one might think that I’m making light of the very real deaths of children in Syria [It actually greatly angers me to see how much suffering my country is exporting]. No, I’m pointing out the lunacy of it, perfectly illustrated by this video of Sen. John McCain getting busted playing poker on his iphone during the Senate debates on whether our military should kill Syrians in retaliation for Syrians getting killed.

Wolf Blitzer says: “On a lighter note….”

.

.

And Egypt?

I’m sorry to put it to you this way, Egypt, but Chapel Perilous demands it:

.

The blood will stop flowing in the streets once the blood stops flowing in your own homes.

.

cp Egypt-FGM

This Egyptian girl is having her clitoris cut off for no good reason whatsoever, due solely to programming by the evil ones.

.

POST UPDATE: A reader reminded me of something I heard first from the Celtic Rebel – I keep forgetting about the institutionalized child mutilation happening here. This one’s for you, Kitty. Enjoy.

.

yuck

.

The reason evil and suffering exists is because we consent to it. It really can’t get much simpler than that. The evil ones see things like Female Genital Mutilation and say, “Hell, if we can get them to do that to their own daughters, we can have them ripping each other apart in the streets!” (I’m guessing there’s some maniacal laughter after that statement as well.)

And following along with that bit of wisdom defined in many insightful ways by the Celtic Rebel comes another bit:

Stop substituting one form of consent for another with a change in your social engineering.

.

cp mideast-egypt.jpeg30-1280x960

Social Engineering: Getting everyone everywhere to put on the same stupid mask whenever they protest.

.

And you’re not off the hook, Mr. and Mrs. Taxpayer American:

.

cp r

Evil needs funding. That’s our consent.

.

You see, Egypt… “they” are anticipating an eventual reformation to happen to your country (which will include eventual banning of Female Genital Mutilation), and already have programming up and running for your newly liberated daughters…..

Simplified by art,

they want to turn this:

.

cp sargent

(John Singer Sargent is the god of portrait realism. You can almost smell the patchouli.)

.

Into this:

.

cp egyptian girl colored

.

I’m serious, Egypt.

With the exception of a painting by somebody named Ghawayesh….

.

cp ghawayesh Egyptian Flower Girl

(F’n awesome painting, man! Um, or… miss?)

.

….my searches for “Egyptian girl art” typically turned up gems like this:

.

cp egyptian_girl_by_wolfscream

Pretty certain Rivendell isn’t located near the Nile.

.

And then it got worse….

.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Although these will be an excellent edition to my “whores throughout history” porcelain figurine collection. (Still looking for “whores of the Ottoman Empire” if anybody’s selling.)

.

.

truth

.

What is the truth of your situation, Egypt?

You are not a pawn of America, nor Israel. You have always been under the control of the evil shapers of our reality, who also control America and Israel.

Now that we’re all entering the 21 century, the evil ones can’t stop the modernization of all the third world countries (actually they’re instigating it – it’s making them shitloads of money), so they must do something about the increasing thirst for knowledge and freedom which comes along with said modernization.

That ‘something’ they’ve termed the “Arab Spring”, which means “Readjustment of our Middle East administration from dictatorships to Islamic control.”

Sadly, it’s even worse for you, Egypt. because your little plot of land holds absolutely nothing of value to them [Your main exports are papyrus art and sand], except it’s location and that it’s filled with millions of angry people. Angry millions who have been oppressed for so long, they’re not sure where to steer their post-dictatorship future. So half of you will go with God, and the other half will put on a Guy Fawkes mask. And both of those choices are under the guidance of the evil ones.

The end result will be a causality loop of confusing progressive regression:

A Pastor tiki prediction:

In the not too distant future there will be a gay pride parade down the streets of Cairo, which will be immediately shut down by Islamic fundamentalists. People on both sides interviewed by the media will say the same exact thing: “We’ve got a long way to go, but I think we’ve made some progress here today for the future of Egypt.”

.

Hey… they’ve already done it to my country….

.

.

What do we want?!

Equal rights for transgender children!

.

cp A-new-law-in-California-will-protect-the-right-of-transgender-teens-to-choose-to-compete-as-boys-or-girls-Getty

.

When do we wan….

wait, what the fuck did I just shout out?

.

.

I’m telling you all this, Egypt, because I’m aware of the evil ones’ ultimate plan for you and I’m really hoping you can avert it:

After complete repression and pacification of your people is achieved (again), your country will be turned into a giant amusement park and renamed “Indiana Jones Land”.

.

cp girls and corpses mummy

.

.

.

Confused about Chapel Perilous?

Don’t be, children. It’s designed to be that way.

.

But what is it? The definitions provided still seem vague, don’t they?

.

cp CHAPEL-PERILOUS2

.

Timothy Leary describes it as your soul leaving this robot body while it’s still walking around (an out of body experience?). Others jokingly call it “a near-birth experience”.

.

I would define it as very similar to the moment in They Live when Roddy Piper first put on the sunglasses and started saying

WTF?

.

cp they71.

It’s the moment when you instantly know the truth of the human reality, but it’s absolutely nothing like the truth you thought it would be, therefore the only thing you know about it is that you know absolutely nothing.

And the only thing you want to do about it is chew bubble gum and kick ass.

Aw, damn… I’m all out of bubble gum.

.

But wait, children… it’s one more disheartening step further than that…. it’s the exact moment you look in the mirror while wearing your sunglasses and realize

you’ve been programmed.

.

theylive

.

.

Wilson offers only two options to leave Chapel Perilous: To either allow fear or agnosticism (basically apathy) to consume you. Most choose apathy, a decision ironically influenced by fear.

.

logan magazines

.

Yet that is the trap, children. To truly escape Chapel Perilous, a third alternative must be undertaken:

To leave, you must eliminate both your fear and apathy. That is what is keeping you in Chapel Perilous. Both of them are waiting right outside the exit.

.

Now hold on Pastor tiki, what you are asking is the impossible. We just want to enjoy life, not become Jedi Knights, you know.

.

Dammit Fear, how do you keep getting in? Out! Don’t make me call Grace Jones, ’cause I will.

.

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

.

And if I’m calling out Grace, then I’ll have to call out Olivia D’Abo as well. 

.

MSDCOTH EC078

.

You’ll be gone, but then I’ll forget everything else I was going to say, so lets not let that happen.

.

.

OK, now where was I? Oh yeah…. It’s not impossible – I used to bull’s-eye womp rats in my T-16 back home. They’re not much bigger than…. oh, whoops. Sorry, wrong reality.

Dammit, Chapel Perilous!

.

It’s not impossible to eliminate your fear and apathy, but it must be done, otherwise you will be overwhelmed by Chapel Perilous, and accept your fate as a They Live programmed human, much like the two San Diego International Comic-Con attendees above.

They think they have mentally risen above all the crap because they are ‘aware’ of it, but yet are still buying overpriced tickets to an overhyped evil ones’ programming party.

.

cp reporter

Excuse me sir, can you tell me why I seem to be the only one here in costume who should be allowed in public, and is neither gay nor a virgin?

.

Someone truly leaving Chapel Perilous would be another attendee at the Comic-Con who would take one look at the They Live pair, suddenly throw down everything and say, “That’s right! What the fuck am I doing?” and then immediately exit the convention center.

Well, they also might turn into a prophet along the way…

(or insane – same thing)….

.

Hey you… Gene Simmons, I hate to tell you this but your homosexuality is now official, and as for your daughter and her friend… well, I recommend keeping a home pregnancy kit handy. And soon:

.

cp con

.

.

You… trooper! Congratulations! The Empire has just promoted you to Patrol Leader Of My Pants!

.

cp sexy-storm-trooper

Ow! What was the slap for? You’re the one wearing the goat leggings!

Oh, I’ll never understand stormtroopers.

.

.

You… Mr. Big Bang Theory!

In three seconds you’re going to need to change your underwear for two completely different reasons.

.

cp ztop

.

Stand your ground, man. She’s more frightened of you than you are of her.

.

.

You… Vamperella!

I’m truly sorry, but I sense there is a Vamperella here even hotter than your supernatural slutiness. She is the one I must find and mate with before I leave!

  Forgive me, for I must abandon your intoxicating charms to the limp fawning of Hellraiser behind you. He is trying to get your attention with a cube.

.

cp 6f011_comic_Comic-con+11+Costumes-033

.

.

And there she is!

I have found the chosen one!

.

cp mo1_500

.

Wait… something’s wrong… can’t concentrate… somehow lost ability to talk to a woman exposing 95% of her body in the lobby of a convention center… becoming nerd again… resistance futile…

.

Use the force, Luke.

Um, I mean… take a picture, tiki… it’ll last longer.

.

Zen master, thanks again for the wise reminder!

I’ll let my camera carry the girl.

.

cp comicon-2013

Thanks for the photo, miss.

Say, I’m not too familiar with the character of  Vamperella… is her mouth the only part of her that drains life fluids out of men?

Ow, what was the slap for?! You’re the one exposing 95% of… oh, I’ll never understand vampires.

.

.

It’s all fake, children.

.

What do we want?!

Equal rights for transgender military whistle-blowers!

cp 956x500

When do we wan…

wait, why do I keep shouting that out?

.

.

Well, not all of it.

Do not despair, children, there is still truth and beauty all around you. It’s just been changed into something you’ve been programmed to want more, despite the fact that it is slowly (or rapidly) killing you.

.

cp 01-duality of insanity

.

.

Or at least making you wear brightly colored pajamas in public:

.

cp Spider_72af08_190197

.

To eliminate both your fear and apathy, one must sacrifice this false reality they are presenting (and programming) to us as real.

.

cp 77

.

Don’t fight it – that’s what they want you to do. You see, what they know that you don’t is that along with the obvious bullshit above comes at least 3 girls dressed up in the most slutty comic book character outfit ever.

With Syrian chemical weapons comes Starbucks. With NSA spying comes Monday Night Football. With Female Genital Mutilation comes i-pods.

And it’s all sweetly presented to you by nipples at 11.

.

cp liz_claman_pokies_0605

.

You must sacrifice it by not wanting it anymore. All of it. If it’s still going on, it means you are still wanting part of it. And since everything is connected in Chapel Perilous (both the ‘good’ and the bad), you’re still getting all of it.

.

cp BEAM 1 Chapel Perilous

.

You don’t have to sacrifice it all at once (that’s Fear talking again), just give up one small part of it every day, or every week. It’s like going vegan: Slowly substituting an artificial, tortured-animal diet for a all-natural, healthy, plant-based one.

And in turn, slowly substitute this artificial tortuous reality with a healthy, natural, true one. I recommend using your own talent and skill to create substitutes for the pop-culture and politics you’ve been programmed to crave.

Write a story. Compose a song. Draw the sluttiest female comic book character outfit ever.

Most importantly, you must exercise the only real freedom you are allotted in this false human reality:

Start taking risks.

.

Start doing things you’ve never done before.

Instead of taking a trip to Comic-Con, take one to Egypt.

C’mon… Egyptian women can be pretty hot:

.

b christine solomon 3

.

Wait… WTF?

Christine Solomon?!

.

b ms. solomon

.

Of course she was ‘born’ in Egypt.

I keep forgetting that this is not reality, this is Chapel Perilous.

.

b christine solomon8

.

.

.

Hey wait a minute, tiki…. if you’re still in Chapel Perilous, that means you’re not following your own advice. Hypocrite.

.

Dammit, how does Fear keep getting in? Oh, I give up. Wait…. 

dammit Apathy!

.

.

Yes, children, it is true. I’m still a sucker for a [free] opportunity to see at least three different Vampirellas walking around in a convention devoted to my childhood nostalgia programming.

.

cp 82

I like this photo. I really like this photo.

.

.

Therefore, I will call upon the wisdom of a prophet of Chapel Perilous  – or rather someone who never became trapped in it because they truly lived

Anaïs Nin.

.

anais

.

Anaïs became famous for journal writings about her life (which she began at age 11), and considering her lifetime involved several countries, languages, lovers, occupations, and mixed drinks, she had a lot of wisdom to impart. 

age of volcanoes fun fact: Her official birth name is Angela Anaïs Juana Antolina Rosa Edelmira Nin y Cumell. You will never see any of those names precede the word “law”.

She passed away in 1977 at the age of 73.

.

anais nin

.

Although I’ve never read any of her books, especially the most famous one about a relationship with author Henry Miller and his wife…

.

cp 200px-Henryandjune_cover

.

….I can tell you she is the god of inspirational quotes.

No, no… not the stuff you already know….

.

blind

.

.

The stuff you don’t:

.

annie

.

.

“We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.”

.

.

annie4

.

.

“Life is truly known only to those who suffer, lose, endure adversity, and stumble from defeat to defeat”

.

.

annie3

.

.

“Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.”

.

.

annie2

.

.

“If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don’t write, because our culture has no use for it.”

.

.

.

.

cp th

.

Mass has now concluded. Go in peace, and we’ll see you again soon.

.

_________________________________

Hold it now and watch the hoodwink

As I make you stop, think

You’ll think you’re looking at Aquaman

_________________________________

.

.

ONGOWA!

.

.

.

Can somebody please tell the guy behind me that putting your package on display is not a costume.

.

cp a_z

.

.

Coming soon: A return to the Planet Of The Lost with a most bizarre explanation of why everything is the way it is:

Earth might not have originally been a part of this solar system.

Hell, we might’ve not even been from this galaxy. Stay tuned…. (No, I haven’t gone completely mad. I’m serious, it’s freakin’ cool).

.

~ by the living tiki on September 3, 2013.

9 Responses to “Chapel Perilous (now with 5% more lunacy!)”

  1. Great piece!

  2. appreciate these ponderings into the mindfields of preprogrammed seemingly syncronistic wavefields of interaction in the world at large, in the zoo of human societies .

    syncronicity , the syncing of different events in a condensed space and time slice of the continuum in the city ?

    p.s. next time, take the naked girl on your own back instead of letting the zenmaster perv with her 🙂

  3. You have done it again. Here in Chapel Perilous IAm enjoying your work soo much that I begin to wonder when you will disappear, thanks for that so I can go back to missing you.

    I love laughing, thanks for that.

  4. I really enjoy reading your work Tiki, probably more than almost anyone else at this point . You put so much together.

    I wonder very much about syncs in my life now too. Was that put there for me to stumble on or was that really meaningful?

    I did however, just a few days ago, read some stuff about RA Wilson including the “is” stuff (sync!). It made me think of Bill Clinton and his comment, “it all depends on what the meaning of is is”.

    Also, had lunch with my best friend yesterday, a Buddhist priest(ess!). She was telling me that someone close to her had said they didn’t think that life was all suffering, but that it was all confusion. I said, yeah I like that better myself and I think it’s all confusion because people lie so much. You know, like, life is an illusion but that’s because everybody lies so much that it distorts your reality.

    You’re right on about the transgender bs too.

    Also, I think men being circumcised is a BIG problem. And i think it particularily screws guys up if it’s done when people are having a big party and some creepy guy wearing a funny hat cuts your penis off and then sucks it. That’s gotta leave a HUGE mark, physically, as well as psychologically. I just want to scream when I think of it.

    To end on a lighter note. I like the Anias Nin pictures and quotes. If we are all free to be individuals that means I don’t have to learn how to cook, right?
    (I’m winking at the Rebel there).

    • I once ran into a female Buddhist monk. Literally – I was walking down the sidewalk not paying attention and she was exiting a temple on that street. As I stepped back excusing myself, I got a look at her: Orange robe, youthful appearance which stemmed from healthiness, shaved head but wearing a interwoven straw sun-hat which made sunlight dance across her freckled face like a disco ball. And then she smiled. She was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.

      The Rebel’s just being honest to women about the priority of men’s appetites, and reminding the men that they are getting the order of the first two confused (so the men won’t be completely surprised when they are thinking the words, “Oh my god this tastes horrible.”.)

  5. OMG, I just read the wiki on Anias Nin. She was a liar and a very good one at that. She was married to two men at the same time, one on the East coast and one on the West coast. So much for truth telling by authors.

    Gotta go, got something cooking.

  6. As always very good post,now,can you say something about Ison and EMP as well what happen yesterday?

    http://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?p=navy+yard+shooting+a+hoax+video

  7. dude you totally mindfucked my brain about bey, though it kinda ab makes sens3. I always thought there was something extremely artificial about her. I hate hearing her speak but her performances are EXTRAordinary.jay never ever wants to talk about her either, so much for being crazy in love. youre blog is like cold water to the skull early in the morning.

  8. The Living Tiki, I have just read your entire blog. Without going into a full blog post of my own, THANK YOU. and i hope our minds cross paths in the future

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: